


Hunter Becoming Hunted

by phantisma



Series: Keeper Verse [21]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-12-12
Updated: 2012-09-04
Packaged: 2017-11-13 12:46:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 9
Words: 27,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/503683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phantisma/pseuds/phantisma
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As Dana approaches her 13th birthday, Dean struggles with getting older...at least until Sam gets hurt, and <i>something</i> chases Dana at school.  Then all he can do is try to keep his family alive.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This piece of Keeper verse will deal very strongly with Sam's past, and memories of violence and rape.

Dean didn’t understand how life came to be _this_ …how he ended up living in an actual house in a town he once swore he’d never return to with a daughter who was turning 13, and sometimes seemed more like 23.

He watched her getting ready for school in the morning and could feel his age settle over him. Her dark hair hung down her back, neatly braided this morning. Her skin was the color of a perpetual tan, her eyes the same green as Sam’s. She felt his eyes and smiled at him. “Want me to make breakfast, Daddy?”

Dean smiled and shook his head. “No, Dana. Coffee’s good.”

She nodded and went back to making her lunch. She was fussy about food, and won’t eat the school cafeteria’s food because she was convinced that there were trolls in the kitchen putting germs in the food to make everyone sick. He didn't argue, because he hasn’t been to the school in a long time. Sam handled the school stuff. Sam handled the homework issues and making sure Dana gets to school and home, even now that Dana’s really too old for Uncle Sammy to walk her both ways.

Sam just wasn’t as visible. Dean knew he’d checked the school out though, and he felt it must be safe. Dean knew that Dana can handle herself too, even though she hadn’t been tested in a real situation. Dean had put his foot down, and unlike the puppy debacle, he’d actually won this time. His daughter would keep her childhood, as long as he could protect her. She knew about the stuff out there, she understood what Dean and his father and even Sam did when they went away…and that knowledge glittered in her eyes sometimes.

But no hunting. Not until she was sixteen at the earliest…and then only if it was something she wanted. She was going to be good at it. She was tall, thin, fast and knew how to fight. Her aim with a gun or crossbow was deadly. Her knife handling was sloppy, but Sam had promised her they’d work on it over Christmas break this year.

Dean drank his coffee and tried not to worry about Sam. He’d been due home the night before…and with the run in he’d had the month before…

“He’s okay.” Dana said abruptly, turning to him with a distant look on her face. “He’ll be here soon. Says he’s sorry…and he’ll explain.”

Dean smiled. Then there was that…those gifts that had nothing whatever to do with the physical training Dean and Sam and their father had put her through. “Tell him he should have called.”

She chuckled and nodded. “He knows.”

The connection between his daughter and his brother had grown as she did, and as her ability to use her gifts grew, it was going to be harder and harder to keep her out of the fight. Already half the hunts they went on were because of things she saw.

“So…have we decided on that birthday party?” Dean asked when she finally came and sat down.

She quirked her head to the side and looked at him. “Would it be okay…Nevermind.”

Dean could tell she wanted something, and was willing to not even ask because it would make him uncomfortable. “Go ahead and ask Dana. I promise I’ll consider it, whatever it is.”

She rolled her eyes and sighed. “Well, I don’t want a big party. I don’t…I’d rather have something more intimate.”

Dean smiled. Her use of words sometimes surprised him. It shouldn’t, after all she had been in advanced classes for years. “Okay. Tell me what you’re thinking.”

“Just me, Kathy, Josie and Beth. I want a slumber party Daddy.”

Dean sucked in a breath, understanding her hesitation now. A slumber party was a lot different than thirty kids in their living room for a few hours. A slumber party was kids in their house overnight, where there were secrets…hell, their secrets had secrets all their own.

Dean nodded and took her hand, kissing it lightly. “Okay, baby. When Uncle Sam gets home we’ll talk about it. See what we can come up with.”

“You mean it?”

“You have to ask?” Dean looked at her, knowing full well she could read his sincerity without even trying.

“Just being polite. I gotta run, I’m walking with Ross and Beth today.”

“Those boys still giving Ross a hard time?”

She grinned and shook her head. “Nope. I taught him how to land a roundhouse, and he broke two noses. They leave him alone now.”

“Don’t forget your homework.” Dean said with a shake of his head as she kissed him goodbye. “Have a good day. Love you.”

“Love you too Daddy.” She waved from the door and he couldn’t help but smile.

He had a beautiful daughter who was somehow a hundred percent Winchester and yet…he sighed and remembered the pink stage, the girly lace phase…At least she had developed a taste for good music.

The phone rang and he got up to answer it. “Yeah. Dad. Where are you?”

Dean walked back for his coffee. “What? How? No. I’ll be right there. I just have to…call the garage, and…he told Dana—Never mind. I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

Sam had somehow managed to lie to Dana. That was a first. It also was frightening. That Sam felt he had to. Dean called the manager of the garage to let him know both John and Dean would be late and pulled on his boots. Stubborn as Sam was about the whole doctor thing, Dean knew it had to be bad if he’d let himself be taken to an ER.

 

John met him when he came into the ER, stopping him with a hand on his arm. “He’s in surgery. They’ll be a while.”

“What the hell happened?”

John shook his head. “I’m not sure. He called me at around 1am, asked me to come get him.”

“Where?”

“A park downtown. When I got there he was barely conscious, bleeding everywhere.”

“Do you know what the damage is?”

John shook his head. “He didn’t argue with me when I said I was bringing him here. He only made me promise not to call until after Dana left for school.”

“Stubborn fuck.” Dean muttered. “He was due back last night. It was supposed to be a business trip. The bookstore sent him to San Francisco to look at an estate collection.”

“I doubt this was because of any average book.”

“How’d he keep this from Dana?”

John shrugged. “I didn’t think he could. I’m surprised she didn’t wake up screaming when it happened.”

 

Dana knelt in the grass to tie her shoe. That was the first inkling she had that something was wrong. Her knee tingled where it touched the grass, like the ground was trying to tell her something. She cocked her head and looked at the patch of grass under the flagpole.

There were too many people around her, she couldn’t concentrate. She finished tying her shoe and stood up to scan the faces and area around her, just like Papa taught her. Nothing seemed out of place, but nothing seemed right either.

She reached out for Sam, but couldn’t find him. That made her uncomfortable. “Hey Dana!”

She looked up and waved at Kathy and Josie got off their bus to join her and Beth. “Give me a sec guys.”

Dana fished her cell phone out of her pocket. She stared at it for a minute. There was nothing obviously wrong. Her father would think she was insane if she called to tell him the ground felt wrong. She shook her head and put the phone away. She’d just pay closer attention.

“Is everything okay, Dana?” Josie asked and Dana smiled.

“Sure. I just forgot to tell my Dad something. I can tell him later.”

“Did you ask him about the party?”

“Yeah, he said we’d talk about it when Sam gets home tonight.” As far as the outside world was concerned, Sam was Daddy’s boyfriend. The truth had to stay a secret. That was part of the hesitation over the party. The warning bell rang and Dana looked up. “See you guys in math class.”

They scattered to their various homerooms and Dana tried not to obsess over the nagging feeling in her gut. It was gym class second period when she decided that ignoring the feeling had been a bad idea. She was the first one out of the locker room and into the gym.

The smell of sulfur on the air set her on edge. She knew the smell well enough. Uncle Sam had given her a good understanding of the smell and what it meant. Unlike the bulk of the Catholic school, the gym was a relatively new addition, not on consecrated ground. That left it more open to…whatever this was. She looked around her warily. She didn’t see it, but she could sense it.

Dana reached for her phone before she remembered in was in her backpack in her gym locker. There wasn’t much at hand for a weapon. She swallowed and tried to relax, get a good reading on it…there. She squinted at a place near the bleachers.

“I know you’re here.” Dana said. It moved, stuttered across the floor until she lost it near the boy’s locker room. This was not good. She started to head back to her locker, to her phone, but the rest of the class was pouring into the gym and Mrs. Gaylen was blowing her whistle.

Dana spent the whole period watching for it, but it was gone. Or she hoped it was. When class was over, she darted into the locker room and changed, barreling out of the locker room and out the nearest door to pull her phone out.

Before she could dial, she saw it again, it charged her…spinning her around and leaving a long, bloody welt on one leg. She managed to dial her father’s number, but it dumped her immediately to voice mail. “Dad. There’s…a…demon, I think. Here at the-Ow! The little shit is trying to…Ow!” Dana lowered the phone and started running, aiming away from the school and hoping the thing would follow. The last thing she needed was some demon-thing eating her friends “I’m leading it away from the school Dad. I’ll call again when I-OW!”

Dana flipped the phone shut and concentrated on running, with the thing on her heels.

 

“Dana.” Sam stirred and Dean jumped.

“Sam?”

His face was bruised, swollen, his lower lip marked by two stitches. Sam’s one eye opened and slowly focused on Dean. “Dana…trouble.”

Dean shook his head. “Dana’s at school Sam, she’s fine.”

Sam swallowed with difficulty. “Phone.”

Dean pulled his phone out of his pocket. He’d turned it off when they’d come to get him to tell him Sam was out of surgery. He thumbed it on and waited for it to warm up. “Followed me.” Sam said. “Tried to lose it.”

“Shh… Sam, it’s okay. You need to rest. Let me—“ Dean frowned as his phone showed him he’d missed a call. He pressed the button for his voicemail and his face paled when he heard her voice. “Shit. Sam, what is it?”

“Hunter.” Sam reached for his hand. “Like us…understand?”

Dean nodded. “Is this what did this to you?”

Sam nodded. “Caught me off guard. Tracked me from Frisco.”

“Okay…I have to go find her.”

Sam squeezed his hand as he started to pull away. “She’s running…north…from the school…headed for…cemetery.”

_Good girl_ , Dean thought and nodded. “I’ll be back.”

Sam let him go and Dean ran from the room. A demon was chasing his baby. Dana was unarmed, and running. Probably hurt. He stared at his phone as he got into the Impala. He didn’t want to call her and distract her if she was fighting for her life…but he desperately wanted to hear her voice. Instead, he dialed his father’s number. “Where are you? Dana’s in trouble.” Dean steered out onto the street and headed toward the school. “Shit, no I’m closer. I’ll get back to you.”

 

Dana could feel the blood running down her arm and her leg, but ignored it. She had to keep moving. She had no doubt her father would find her, especially once she’d felt Sam again. That wasn’t as relieving as it should be. She could tell he was hurt…scared even…scared for her. She hadn’t thought far enough ahead to be afraid, she was stuck on moving and keeping a step ahead.

She still couldn’t actually see the darn thing, but whenever she slowed down, it bit or scratched, so it was corporeal, at least to some degree. She tried to place what it might be…but Sam hadn’t started teaching her about the different kinds of demons. She only had the images from his head, and that was less helpful than one might think.

She was nearly to the cemetery gates. It was moving faster now, working to catch her before she got onto consecrated ground. She wasn’t sure she’d be safe there, but she’d be safer than she was out here.

It was growling now, one claw like hand scratching down the back of her leg and she kicked back and out, earning a satisfying yelp before she pushed through the gate and into the cemetery. _Dana, let me see it._

Sam’s voice in her head startled her and she turned back to scan for it. _Nothing to see._ She watched the gates rattle, then looked down at the mark on her calf from when it first caught her.

_How bad?_

Dana shook her head like he’d see it, but she knew he felt it because she could feel his. _Your father’s on his way._

She heard the gates rattle and looked up, her jaw dropping even as Sam’s voice in her head was screaming at her to run. The thing coming through the cemetery gates was taller than Sam, it’s skin red and black, it’s body hard and terrifying. She stumbled a little getting turned around to run, then she was moving, racing, her legs pumping under her and carrying her deeper into the cemetery. _Sam?_ She couldn’t feel him. She didn’t like that.

_Sam?_

She spared a glance behind her, then shook off the fear. Papa always told her that panic is what killed people. Daddy was coming, all she had to do was stay ahead of it…it…whatever **it** was.

Dana slid around a tree and leaped the small stream that cut the cemetery in two. This way made her have to go uphill, but she knew this part of the graveyard better. She pounded up the hill and just as she crested it, she felt Sam in her head again. _Where?_

Dana looked and wished she hadn’t. It wasn’t alone, and it was already across the stream. _Fuck….keep moving, baby. Just keep moving._

That was her plan, but she wasn’t sure she could keep up the pace. Her right leg was covered in blood now and her feet ached with the pounding she’d already given them. _What is it_ she asked as she flew past graves from WWI and down toward the little outdoor chapel. _Sam?_

She got the distinct impression that Sam was talking to someone, probably her father. The image of the thing chasing her flashed through her and the word “Harrier”. If she wasn’t sure she’d die, the word would have frozen her to the spot. Harriers were a nasty sort of demon. She didn’t know exactly, but she knew the word from Sam’s nightmares, even if he managed to keep the rest of the dream hidden from her. Anything that frightened her Uncle Sammy that much was not something she wanted to face, particularly not alone.

_Bad?_ she sent as she leapt over a broken bench near the chapel. Beyond the chapel was the newer part of the graveyard, where her grandmother’s grave held an empty coffin.

_Run, Dana…just head for the gate near 8th street. Your father’s almost there._

Dana was starting to have trouble breathing and her vision was blurry. She could see the gate, but she could hear them behind her. They were closing in as her wounds pulled at her and her stamina wavered. She was almost there. The sound of the Impala was never so welcome. Her hands closed on the bars of the gate and her eyes went wide as she felt something grab her backpack, one long claw scraping down her back as she shrugged her shoulders to free herself of the straps.

She screamed in pain and yanked the gate open, throwing herself through it and toward the Impala and her father.

“Dana! Down!”

She threw herself into a forward roll, getting herself out of his line of fire and moving her closer to the car. He fired six, seven shots into the one holding her back pack as she got the back door of the car open and crawled inside. Five more shots rang out and then the car was moving. Dana closed her eyes and panted against the leather, afraid to move. “Dana? Come on baby, talk to me.” His hand came up over the seat to touch her and he cussed when it touched warm blood.

“’M okay, Dad.” Her heart was racing and her lungs and legs burned, and she was bleeding all over the leather, but she was okay. _Okay, Sammy….okay…_

“Hold on, baby. Just hold on.”

Dana wasn’t sure what he was talking about. She was cold, shivering. That seemed funny, somehow, after all that running. She should be hot and sweating. Well, she was sweating, just cold. “Dana? Talk to me.”

She tried to look at him, but everything was dark. “Dana!”

 

“I need some help here!” Dean yelled as he carried the lifeless body of his daughter into the ER.

“Here, bring her here,” a nurse called, pointing to a gurney. “What happened, sir?”

He shook his head. “She…she was attacked.” He ran a hand over his face before he realized it was covered in blood. “She’s my daughter…she was attacked…” He looked up as a kid in a doctor’s coat joined them and started checking Dana’s injuries. There was no way this kid was old enough to be a doctor.

“Okay, let’s get her into Exam room 3, type and cross match.” The boy-doctor turned to Dean. “Can you tell me what did this to her?”

Dean watched her go, then blinked. “What? No…I….she called…I found her like this….” Because there was no way he was telling this boy that a demon had done this and he’d killed the mother-fucker with six shots in the head. “She’s…just make her okay.”

“She’s lost a lot of blood, sir. I’m going to go examine her. I need you to stay out here.”

Dean nodded dully and ran the hand back over his face. The smell of his baby’s blood was nauseating and he pulled the hand away, staring down at it, then at the blood that covered his shirt and jeans.

“Dean?”

He turned at the sound of his father’s voice, shaking as John’s eyes registered the sight. “Where’s Dana?”

“She’s…the doctor is looking at her.” Dean felt light headed and his knees gave way as his father touched his elbow. “God…Dad, there was so much blood…she…the bastards…she…” He shook his head and tried to wrap his mind around the image in his head of his little girl shrugging off the biggest fucking Harrier he’d ever seen.

Granted, he’d only ever seen three, but he’d thought they were among the bigger—“Dean?”

John was squatting beside him, turning Dean’s face toward him. “Shit, Dean, stay with me.”

Dean blinked and took a deep breath. “I’m okay. I’m…holy shit.” He looked up at his father. “Harriers, Dad. Two of them.”

John sucked in and pulled his hands away from Dean as if somehow the name alone could conjure one. “Did they…I mean…” He couldn’t vocalize the thought though…not his baby, not his beautiful granddaughter.

Dean was shaking his head. “No…no…she ran, Dad….they caught her just as I got there. She’s cut up, but she’s…not that.”

John sighed in relief and stood, pulling Dean up with him. It was bad enough that he knew what the damn things were capable of, that both of his sons bore scars from Harriers, and now she would too. “Let’s get you cleaned up while we wait.”

 

 

John sighed wearily as he dropped into the chair by Sam’s bed. Sam’s eyes opened instantly. “They’re moving her into a room on the children’s ward. Dean’s with her.”

Sam nodded. “How’s Dean?”

John smirked, because Sam obviously already knew how Dana was. “He’s a wreck. He’ll be better once she comes out of the anesthesia.”

“She’ll be fine.” Sam said, his eyes going distant for a moment before snapping back. “She did really good.”

John nodded. “Yes, she did.”

“We have to find this bastard.” Sam grimaced as he shifted. “He didn’t use a Harrier when he attacked me. Not sure what it was, actually.”

“We’ll find him.” John said, stifling a yawn. All the adrenaline had left his body after the doctor had come out of the exam room and told them that Dana would be fine…She’d have scars to tell the story, but she’d be fine. He’d left Dean to deal with the police and sat with Dana while the hospital worked on getting a room ready for her. Now he was just drained, and feeling his age. “Right now we need to concentrate on getting you and Dana back on your feet.”

Sam was already drifting, the steady drip of drugs in his IV pulling him under. John let his own eyes slide closed and tried not to imagine Dana in the hands of one of those…things.

 

 

Her first thought was that it was entirely too warm in the room, which was nice considering that her last thought had been about the cold. The room felt…different though, not like hers. She opened her eyes slowly. Her father was dozing in the chair next to her bed. She was on her side, and her back felt…thick. She looked around, trying to figure out where she was and why.

Then she remembered the way her back had just split under the claw of that demon, the way she had screamed and her father had killed it dead. Moving slowly in part because she hurt and in part to let her father sleep, Dana peeled back the sheet that covered her to get a look at her leg. The little demon had ripped her up pretty good, and she had a mess of bandages to show for it. Thick white gauze circled her entire thigh and there were smaller bandages over her shin and calf.

_Dana_

She smiled and leaned into the caress of Sam’s mind. _I’m okay._

She felt his pride and blushed, sending back a wave of dismissal and reaching out to feel out the extent of his injuries. She was worried. He was blocking her to some degree and that couldn’t be good. _I’ll get out of bed right now and come find you._

Not that threats ever worked with Sam. _I’m good, Dana. Just need time. I’ve been hurt worse._

Dana sighed and rolled her eyes, then realized Dean was looking at her. “Daddy.”

He was on the bed in and instant, his hands drawing down her uninjured arm. “You scared me, baby.”

She smiled. “I was pretty scared to.” He looked like he’d been crying. She’d never seen her daddy cry. “I’m okay.”

“I know. I—God I am proud of you Dana.” He took her hand in his and squeezed it. “You did everything right. You led it away from people, you headed for sacred ground. You kept your head.”

She beamed under the praise. “I was scared when it was a little one…then there was the big one and Sam was afraid…I ran…I just ran.”

Dean smiled. “I know. You did good.”

“Is Sam okay?”

Dean’s smile dimmed. “He will be. He was hurt pretty badly.”

“By that thing?”

“I don’t think so. I think it was something else.” Dean kissed her cheek. “You should go back to sleep.”

Almost as if his suggestion had reminded her she was tired, she yawned. “Want to see Sammy.”

“Soon, baby. Soon.”

 

It was actually two days, when the hospital released her and let Dean wheel her into Sam’s room before taking her home. It was two days where either Dean or John was in her room, at her side, and whoever wasn’t with her was with Sam.

They all knew it wasn’t over.

They all knew this could be the end of normal for them…all of them. They all knew, and none of them said it out loud.

Sam smiled and laughed and made Dana feel a little better about his injuries and her own. His went a little deeper, and he was going to be kept a few more days. It wasn’t until Dana ran a hand over the right side of Sam’s face and whispered, “I always liked you better this way,” that Dean realized the glamour was gone. His eyes fell to Sam’s wrist, then up to his eyes. Sam shook his head minutely and Dana kissed his cheek.

“Okay, little lady, it’s time for you to go home.”

“I wanna stay with Sam.”

John saw the stress in Dean’s face and intervened. “Sam needs to rest so he can come home too.”

Dana pouted, but Sam must have told her to go because she rolled her eyes, but settled back in the wheelchair. Dean’s nerves were shot to hell, and he’d only slept a few hours each night…and he hadn’t been home since he brought Dana in. Missouri had taken the dog home and picked up the mail, and their standard defenses should still be intact, and…

“Dad?”

Dean shook himself and moved them through the hospital lobby. “Yeah, Dana?”

“Why did they…I mean…why did it happen?”

Dean sighed. “We think someone followed Sam home from his business trip.”

“Someone?”

“A hunter.”

“Like us?”

“Except playing on the other side.” It meant there was a price on their heads. Though whether that was just Sam and Dana, or all four Winchesters neither he nor Sam had been able to determine.

“Those things that were after me…the Harriers…that’s what hurt Sam when he was little, right?”

Dean helped her into the car and nodded, hating that she had to know that, that she was a part of this whether he wanted her to be or not. “They’re servants to…other demons and the people who serve demons.” The very thought of what they might have done to her…knowing what they had done to Sam…what they would have done to him after they’d bled him that night…Dean breathed in slow and deep to keep the nausea down.

Dana was quiet on the ride home and settled onto the couch to watch television while Dean made them some lunch. “What are we going to do, Dad?” she asked abruptly, looking up at him from the couch.

“We’re going to find the bastard and kill him.” Dean said emphatically.

“And after that?”

He froze, didn’t look at her. “What do you mean?”

“They aren’t going to stop coming.” She rose up on her knees on the couch, looking at him, but he could tell by the look on her face that she wasn’t seeing him. “There’s more…he’s…just one.”

He crossed to her. “Tell me what you see, Dana.”

She stared into space for a minute, then her eyes snapped back to Dean’s. “We have to run, Daddy…just as soon as we can. We have to go. They’re coming.”

There was something in Dana’s eyes that Dean wasn’t used to seeing. It chilled him to the bone as he nodded in agreement with her. She was afraid, and Dana was never afraid of anything. And she was right. They were going to have to run. And soon.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dana, Sam and Dean are on the run, Dana and Sam are fighting and Dean feels caught in the middle as they hide out in an old cabin.

Two weeks on the road and Dana was not happy. Neither, for that matter were Sam or Dean. Of the three of them, only Dean had lived this way before, and never with a 13 year old girl or a brooding and still not whole younger brother.

Motel rooms simply weren’t big enough. 

Dean sat at the small table cleaning their weapons while Dana watched something on television and Sam pretended to be sleeping. In the morning they would pile back into the car and keep moving. Though he didn’t know where they were going, or even if they were still being followed.

His eyes slipped through the gloom to pick out his daughter’s face. It was hardest on her, he thought. She’d left behind friends, her pet, and she’d been dragged into this life even after Dean had sworn that wouldn’t happen. Worse, she’d seen. Dean and his father had finally tracked down the hunter that had followed Sam, that had set two Harriers loose on Dana. It hadn’t been pretty. She’d seen the whole thing, even though she’d been with Missouri at the time.

She’d been shaking and crying when he came to get her. They signed Sam out of the hospital and they’d been running ever since. No time to think about it. Just keep moving. The next hunter had caught them three states away, and Dean wasn’t sure what happened there, because he’d been knocked on his ass, but he knew that whatever it was, Sam had pissed Dana off. 

The air between them had been chilly for days now. He couldn’t get either one of them talking to him.

Suddenly, Sam sat up and Dana stiffened. That was beginning to be the definition of _not good_.

Sam was standing and at Dana’s side as she doubled over, but he didn’t touch her. “Sam?” Dean stood, but kept his distance. Dana’s visions had gotten progressively harder in the last few weeks and he’d learned not to interfere. 

“It’s almost over.” Sam murmured, his hand hovering over her head without touching.

Dana’s eyes lifted to Sam’s…eyes that were suddenly far too old for his baby girl, and she nodded tightly before she let him help her to her feet and she headed for the bathroom. Dean heard the sound of vomiting and turned to Sam.

He nodded and ran a hand through his hair. “She’ll be okay.”

“What was it?”

“There’s…the next one is getting close. We shouldn’t wait for morning.”

“Sam…tell me.” Dean lifted a hand to touch his face, pulling him closer. “I need to know.”

“She’s afraid Dean. Like I’ve never seen. That guy—the last one—“ He stopped and looked up as she emerged from the bathroom, looking pale and small.

“We should go,” she said, reaching for her bag before Dean shook his head.

“No. You need sleep, and not in a car. We’re staying. We can get up early and head out.”

“It might be too late.” Dana said with a sigh.

Sam’s face was pained. “It should be okay, Dana. He’s not—“

She held up her hand and Sam just stopped. She rolled her neck and shivered. “Yeah…okay…” Dean wanted to wrap his arms around her, but she was never very receptive to touch after a vision. “I’m going to sleep.”

They both watched as she shut off the television and crawled into her bed. Sam sighed and grabbed his jacket. “I’m going down to that corner store. Want anything?”

Dean shook his head and passed him a gun. “We’ll be fine.”

 

Only fine didn’t exactly describe what they were. Dean got them up and out before daylight. It was going to snow before they made the state line. Sam pointed them north, into more snow. The atmosphere in the car was chilly and Dean didn’t know how to warm it up.

At the first stop of the day, several hours out, Sam went inside the small truck stop to pay for their gas and relieve himself and Dana poked her head up over the seat. “Daddy?”

“Yeah?” He turned to look at her, marking the dark circles under her eyes, the pale color of her skin. 

“I miss Papa.”

He smiled and nodded. “Me too.”

“I’m sorry…I know I’m not…I’m sorry I’ve been grouchy.”

He closed his eyes. “You’re fine, baby. Getting hurt by demons, and chased out of your home makes you allowed to be grouchy.”

She shook her head. “Not what I meant.” Her eyes picked out Sam as he moved through the store. “It wasn’t his fault and I was blaming him.”

“What happened?” 

Her eyes closed and she shook her head. “He killed him. Sam…I mean Sam killed the man. I wanted to…save him.”

Dean nodded. He’d suspected something like that. “Sam saved your life.”

She nodded. “I know…but, it wasn’t his fault…that man…he was innocent, he was terrified. I wanted…I almost had him, and Sam shot him…and I felt him die.”

Dana snuffled at tears she obviously didn’t want to be crying, sitting back abruptly when Sam approached the car. “Have you told Sam?”

She shook her head. That was the coldness in the room, they’d both nearly closed their connection since it happened…and neither one of them knew how to function anymore without it. 

“Hey, I got you a cocoa.” Sam said as he got into the car and handed it back to her. “Warm you up some.”

“Thanks.” She took the cup and sat back 

“We’re about four hours from the cabin I was telling you about. Easy to secure, good place to make a stand.” Sam handed Dean a cup of coffee and glanced back at Dana. 

She reached a hand up to his shoulder. “Show me?”

Sam smiled and Dean knew they were opening up slowly to one another. Dana nodded after a few minutes. Dean took that as acceptance and set them on the road. It didn’t take long before Dana was asleep in the back seat and Sam sighed in relief. “She’s really asleep this time.”

Dean looked at him and scowled. “What did you do?”

Sam looked scared for a second, then shook it off. “Normally I can sooth her to sleep, no matter what…but she wasn’t letting me. She hasn’t slept in days. I put something in her cocoa.”

“You drugged her?”

“Yes Dean. I did. She needed to sleep.” Sam sighed and stretched his legs under him. “She’ll sleep until we get there, and we should probably dose her again at dinner so she sleeps tonight too.”

The cabin was little more than an old hunter’s cabin, with a couple of beds, a wood burning stove and a table. It had belonged to Sam’s adoptive mother’s father and had been abandoned for years. It had strong defenses that needed very little to bring up, charms and sigils and protection spells that were stronger than most Dean had ever seen. 

After a half an hour of unlocking them, Sam nodded and Dean gathered his daughter out of the car, awkwardly carrying her to the stairs while she slowly woke up. She struggled a little, but he kissed her forehead and her arms came up to hold on to him. This had been so much easier when she was smaller. Still, he got her inside and settled her onto the twin bed, wrapping her up in the blanket that had come with her from the car.

“Sit tight, I’ll get a fire going to warm the place up.”

Several hours later, the pot bellied stove had the place toasty warm and Sam was cooking them dinner while Dana and Dean played cards.

“Dad would love this place.” Dean said as he laid down his matching cards and discarded. “It almost feels like a vacation.”

“The last time I was here, I was Dana’s age.” Sam said, turning to look at her. He smiled, then the smile faded.

“Sam?”

He shook his head and went back to the food, but whatever it was had caught Dana’s attention too. “Sam?”

“I’m okay….just…a memory.”

“Why he was here.” Dana breathed, putting down her cards. Her eyes squinted, like she was concentrating. “He was hurt…came here to—“ Her expression changed as Sam’s shoulders stiffened, then she exhaled and slammed her hand on the table. “Dammit Sam!”

They both turned to look at her, unaccustomed to language like that. She stood, anger coloring her previously pale face. “Stop shutting me out. I’m not a child.” She crossed her arms and rolled her eyes. “Okay, maybe I am _chronologically_. But I can’t help you when you do that.”

Sam closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I don’t need—“

“Bullshit.” She said it so softly, but it cut right through and stopped him. “You think I don’t see what it’s doing to you?” She turned to look at her father. “Something happened when he was thirteen. Something big and painful. Something he thinks I’m too young to understand. It’s got him so freaked out right now that if I wanted to go behind the curtain over there and take a pee, he wouldn’t be able to stand still until he could see me again. And he won’t admit it, and **that** was why he shot that man while we still had a chance to save him.”

“Dana, stop.” Sam’s voice was low and dangerous, his eyes dark as they sought out Dean’s. 

Dean knew, of course, at least in vague terms, what happened when Sam was 13, why he likely was sent here and what sort of memories the place likely stirred. “Dana, give your uncle some privacy.”

“Why? He doesn’t give me any. Do you know what it’s like to have him in my head all the time? Even when the connection’s closed, he’s there…lurking…Even when I want him to leave me alone.” She slammed her hand down again. “The only time he isn’t there is when he’s trying to hide something. Like when he was attacked. Like when he shot that man. Then he cuts me out and leaves me alone in the dark.” She was shaking in her anger and Dean reached out a hand to touch her, but she pulled away. 

“You want me out of your head?” Sam whirled, her anger echoing in his face. “Fine. How’s this?”

Nothing happened that Dean could see. They stared at one another, then Dana blinked, the color draining from her face. Dean looked up at Sam who seemed stunned. 

“Perfectly fine.” Dana said, her voice quiet, but not soft. She turned on her heel and grabbed her coat disappearing out the back door before either of them could move.

Dean rose to go after her, but a glance at Sam stopped him cold. “Sam?”

His face was white, and his shoulders shook as he sank to his knees beside the table. Dean was on the floor in a heart beat, catching him as he crumpled, tears flowing from his eyes as he quivered. “Sam…talk to me, man.”

“Its okay…we’ll be okay…its okay…” Sam clutched at Dean’s arm and he breathed heavily. 

“What just happened, Sam?” Dean pulled his fingers through Sam’s hair.

Sam drew in a shuddering breath and slowly sat up. “I…let her go…she’s…not here.” Sam made a vague gesture at his head. “I mean, Missouri taught her how to make private places, where I never pry…but I’ve never…not since…” He breathed in again and exhaled slowly. “It hurts,” he whispered. “It hurts, Dean…not having her here…”

Dean cupped his hands to Sam’s face and kissed him. “I’m sure it won’t last, Sam. She’s angry and scared. She’ll get over it.”

Sam shook his head. “I didn’t know…didn’t realize how much I need her.”

“She needs you too. She’ll be okay, Sam. You both will.”

Sam nodded numbly and Dean picked himself up off the floor. “I should go make sure she’s all right.”

 

Dana flew over the snow, away from the tiny cabin and into the trees. Tears stung her eyes and whipped away off her cheeks as she ran. She knew better than to leave the cabin, to leave the safety of the wards, but she had to be away from Sam…away from the fury and anguish that crashed through him as something inside snapped and he let her go.

_He let her go_

She couldn’t feel him…way beyond when he shut her out…she stumbled in the heavy snow and pitched forward, landing on her knees. The cold, wet seeped into her through her jeans, but it felt right somehow. She was so cold inside, shouldn’t her outside match?

She shivered and cried and when she heard her father’s voice calling for her she covered her ears. Okay, so it was childish. She crossed her arms and hmmphed. So what. If they were going to treat her like a child, she could damn well act like one.

 

Dean was more than a little concerned as he stood on the back steps of the cabin and scanned the trees, calling Dana’s name into the approaching dark. There was a trail of footprints leading into the woods, indicating where she’d gone.

Normally, he wouldn’t worry. She was a resourceful kid. But this was anything but normal. She didn’t know these woods, she was scared…with good reason, and Sam couldn’t find her with the connection now. He shivered and stepped back inside to get his coat to go after her. “She’s run—“

Sam was standing, stock still, framed in the front door, staring out. “We aren’t alone,” he said softly. “Close the door.”

“Sam, Dana—“

“Their concentration is on us right now. We need to keep it that way.” Sam looked over his shoulder at his brother, then back out into the snow. Dean crossed the distance to stand beside Sam and look out into the front. A single man stood by the back bumper of the Impala, just outside the first line of defense around the cabin. “He can’t get in…not unless we let him in.” Sam’s words were still soft and directed to Dean, though his eyes never left the man’s.

Almost casually, the man raised a hand in greeting. “Hey Sam. Remember me?”

Sam nodded slowly and stepped out onto the porch. “Yeah, Peter. You aren’t welcome here. Turn around and go.”

Peter smiled, though the look was more eerie than friendly. “Can’t. Got a job to do. Why don’t you make it easier on me. Lower the wards.”

Sam shook his head. “Can’t do that Peter. Don’t make me have to hurt you.”

Peter shrugged and took a few steps away from the car, centering himself to Sam. “We only want the girl, Sam. You can keep the pretty play thing.”

Sam’s jaw was tight and Dean’s hand was closing on the gun in the back of his jeans. “I’ll kill you Peter. Don’t think I won’t.”

“You know this guy?” Dean asked and Sam nodded. 

“We went to school together. He was a few years ahead of me. He’s not alone.”

“Sam, what about Dana?”

Sam shook his head. “He can’t know, okay…Just…I don’t know…we have to keep him talking and hope she sees them before they find her.”

 

Eventually Dana decided it was silly to sit in the snow and cry. It was getting dark, and with the dark the temperatures would drop again, and she wasn’t wearing boots, just broken down old sneakers. Her father was going to start to worry, and she was vaguely surprised that he hadn’t come looking for her.

It wasn’t like she’d tried to hide where she’d gone. She stood up and turned around, eyeing down the path of footprints she’d left behind as she’d run. Should be easy to follow. 

Something wasn’t right. She pulled her hands out of her pocket and knelt in the snow, pushing it aside until she could reach the frozen ground underneath. Her hand was cold, but she pressed it against the dirt and tried to listen for the things around her. 

There were animals, a cardinal on a tree branch, a couple of deer in a grove nearby…a raccoon closer to the cabin. There was the big, blank stretch where the charms and wards circled the cabin. She got a vague sense of people…more than two.

She pulled her hand up and stood quickly. More than two. More than Sam and Dad. Not good. Dana felt panic welling up inside her and kicked herself. This was her fault. She was so caught up in her emotional tantrum she hadn’t felt them coming.

She reached out for Sam, wanting to know they were safe, but he was gone…and she kicked herself yet again. Her hand went to her jacket pocket and pulled out her cell phone. No signal.

“Think Dana.” She turned, looking around her. She was the one in danger, the one outside the wards. She was the one that needed to get a grip and figure out what to do…and the first thing was to not leave a trail as wide as a highway behind her.

The dark was deepening around her and the sounds were taking on that eerie quality that came with night in the forest. She could do this. She’d trained for this. 

Dana shivered. First things first, get away from the trail. She turned and retraced her steps, then set off with short strides toward the stream that she knew ran in the distance. Then she retraced her steps again. Okay…that might draw any one looking for her away. Now, to actually get away. 

She went back to where she had sat in the snow and looked around. It was getting harder to see and harder to keep the fear pushed down into her belly. But the dark worked in her advantage. She tried to keep her steps light and move as much in a single step as she could. 

By the time she could no longer make out the dent in the snow that marked her resting place, she was sweating, though her feet were freezing. She had no idea how far she’d gone, only that the cabin was to her left.

The trees creaked around her and Dana got the sense that she wasn’t alone. As long as it wasn’t one of those Harrier things, she could deal. She moved cautiously, angling her path to bring her closer to the cabin so she could see what was going on. Whatever _it_ was moved with her, not moving closer, but following.

She swallowed the lump of fear and shifted from tree to tree until she could see the lights in the cabin windows. Sam was on the porch. There was a strange man outside the wards talking to Sam. She couldn’t see her father.

Dana squatted in the snow, trying to gauge the distance between her and the wards, between her and the man, between her and _it_ behind her. She might be able to make it. She readied herself to run, then caught the movement out of the corner of her eye. There was another man, closer, circling the cabin, testing the wards. She could feel power oozing out of him and if he got close enough, he would know she was there.

She clamped down her own power, biting back the desire to blast a thought through to Sam, despite the closed connection. It would only give her away and probably make Sam do something stupid.

 

Dean stood by the back door, gun drawn, tracking the movement of the second man. A cold breeze swept through the cabin. Dean’s eyes flicked to the place where he knew Dana had run, then back to the man.

“Are there more?” Dean asked over his shoulder.

“I don’t know.” Sam replied. “Just sit tight.”

“Sam.”

“Please Dean.”

Sit tight. While Dana was out there in the cold and dark alone. 

 

“We can wait longer than you, Sam.”

Sam nodded, hands in his pockets. “That may be true, Peter.”

“If we have to break in, you know I’ll be angry. You know how I get when I’m angry.”

Sam swallowed the fear that tone was designed to raise. Damn but he thought he’d broken that programming years before. Peter was one of the “boys” that his “father” had empowered to keep him in line at school. Most of the time that meant beatings, sometimes more. “I’ve changed Peter. I’m not that scared little boy anymore. You want something from me, you’re going to have to deal. We have enough fire power in here to keep you and your boy at bay for a while. Probably long enough to bore your pets. You do remember how they get when they’re bored, don’t you Peter?”

Sam smiled a twisted little smile as Peter rolled his shoulders. Yes, Peter remembered. Peter wasn’t all that different from Sam, after all. 

“I want the girl.”

Sam shrugged. “She’s not for sale.”

“I will knock these wards down, one by one.”

“You can try.” Sam’s eyes scanned the tree line. By now, Dana should be figuring out what was going on…if she hadn’t gotten hurt already. He shook off the thought and tried to look casual about his searching. “You’re traveling light these days, Peter…and reduced to bounty hunting…how demeaning.”

“Oh, I took this assignment special, Sam. I was delighted to know I’d be seeing you again.”

There. Sam scanned past again, just to make sure. She held up her hand. Five. Two, and she pointed behind the cabin. One, and she pointed to Peter. One, and she pointed to her left. One, and she pointed up. Sam forced his eyes back to Peter, scanning past him and then back, as if he was just sweeping the area for more of his friends.

“I have a visual.” Sam said over his shoulder in a tone that wouldn’t carry further than Dean. “We have five visitors, at least one is incorporeal.”

“How do you know?”

“She says it’s over the wards.”

They were silent for a minute. Sam could taste Dean’s fear for his daughter. “We should send her away. Give her the signal for the back up plan.”

He watched Dean consider it. The standard back up and regroup would send her down the road, alone in the dark. There was a gas station/post office a few miles down, and she should be able to reach it and hide until it was open. From there she would call John. From there they would just have to catch up once they got out of this.

Dean nodded tightly and Sam inhaled. “So, we’re gonna be here a while, then, eh Peter? Better put the coffee on.” Sam made the same casual sweep, over Peter’s face and past until he caught sight of Dana again. He stretched his long arms over his head, joined his hands, then dropped them behind his head, making sure Dana was watching. When he knew she was paying attention, he dropped his hand to the side, wiping it across his hip, then moving it back over his backside. 

 

Dana watched Sam signal her to move to backup. Watched and swallowed, because that meant things were bad. She couldn’t hear the words, and she couldn’t believe how scared she felt without Sam’s reassuring voice in her head. She waited while he did the looking around thing that the dumb idiot talking to Sam was actually buying, then when his eyes came her way again she signaled her agreement.

She didn’t like it. But maybe she could get a cell signal…or something. Papa would answer if she called. Papa would come. The only question was whether or not Papa could get there in time to make a difference.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dana, Sam and Dean are on the run and separated.

Dana had never been so cold. Her shoes were soaked through, and the wind blew through her coat. Her hands were red and shaking, though some of that was fear. It was dark and she felt her way along the road more with her powers than her eyes. 

Something was still following her, but it seemed to be harmless, at least compared to whatever had her father and Sam trapped in the cabin. For the hundredth time in the last two hours, Dana pulled her phone out of her pocket. She fumbled it with cold fingers before she got it open. 

There was a signal. It was weak, but it was there. She stopped dead in her tracks and pushed the button to call her grandfather. It rang three times and the voice on the other end was sleepy. “Papa? It’s Dana. I need you.”

She could feel him wake up. “Dana? Where are you?”

“Sam’s cabin…well they are…they told me to leave, gave me the signal.” She bit her lip. “There’s trouble and Sam and Dad are trapped and I’m cold and you’ll never get here in time.”

“Calm down Dana.” She could hear him moving around. “Tell me where the regroup spot is.”

“A gas station, I’m not there yet.”

“Okay, listen. Get to the station. Find some way to keep warm. I probably won’t get there before morning. Use your head, stay out of sight.”

“I can’t feel Sam, Papa…he…we had a fight and now he’s gone…and I don’t know if they’re okay.”

“Don’t dwell on it Dana. Get moving. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

 

Dean felt Sam moving around and dragged himself up out of sleep. “Sam?”

“Nothing’s changed Dean. Sleep.”

Dean sat up. “No, it’s your turn. I’ll keep watch.” He yawned as he sat up. Sam handed him a cup of coffee as he got to his feet. “Anything happening?”

“They haven’t found a way in…yet.” 

“You think they will?”

“Peter’s good. I think we need to consider that he might.”

Dean sipped at the coffee and nodded. “Okay…worst case?”

Sam shook his head. “You don’t want to know worst case. Trust me on this.”

“Sam…I think it’s a little late for you to be protecting me here.”

“Best case is Dana makes good time, doesn’t get caught, gets help and gets back here before they get in.” He didn’t look at Dean. “I think we both know that won’t happen. Worst case…Peter’s little wizard out there breaks through and they storm us. We’re pretty out numbered, but have the small surprise of my abilities on our side. They were repressed when I knew Peter. Still, he’s got a small army of very bad things on his side. He’ll probably grab you, both to punish me and to try to control Dana. Things would get very bad, very quickly.”

Dean made a face and moved over to the window. He knew what was left unsaid in Sam’s worst case. It hung there in the air between them. These men were puppets on the strings of a pretty ugly class of demons, who thrived on physical torture and rape to control and punish. 

He was worried for Dana, alone in the dark and cold. Sam was right, she was resourceful, but even so…she was also just thirteen…and age was no protection with this bunch.

If he was honest, he was worried about Sam too. He was pale, still shaking. He hadn’t been the same since the fight with Dana, since he severed the connection that had held them together since Dana was six months old. Dean had no doubt that Sam loved him, but his love for Dana was unsurpassed by anything in his life. Without it, Sam wouldn’t be the man he’d become.

“We could try to bargain…” Sam looked out the window, then shook his head. “Except we don’t even have the one thing he’s looking for.”

“He doesn’t know that.” Dean said. “We could…bluff…maybe let them in…and get past them…”

Sam shook his head. “Peter would see through it. As I said, he’s good.”

“Then we wait?”

Sam shrugged. “For now.”

“Rest. I’ll wake you if anything changes.”

 

 

According to her cell phone it was close to midnight. The gas station was dark and empty. The little post office lobby was unlocked though, and while it wasn’t warm by any means, it was a respite from the wind and the snow that had started falling right after she had called her Papa. She tucked herself in under the table, opening her jacket to wrap around her wet legs as she curled herself up as small as she could to try to keep warm. 

She’d lost track of whatever was following her when she’d thrown herself clear of the road to avoid the truck coming her way. It was possible the trucker could have helped…but the chances of there being more demons in the vicinity had scared her. It didn’t help that she wasn’t feeling like herself, between the cold and the lack of Sam’s presence…not to mention the fear. 

But the tumble down the snow covered embankment had left her soaked to the skin and she knew she had to get warm or risk hypothermia. She wasn’t sure exactly what that was, but she knew it wasn’t good. So she brought her legs in close to her body and wrapped her coat around them and tried to conserve body heat while she thought warm thoughts.

 

John Winchester broke every speed limit between him and his granddaughter, slowing down only when the mountain road became treacherous with snow. He’d never been more grateful for four-wheel drive. The clock on the dash read 2:15 am, hours since he’d talked to her. He crested a rise and saw a cabin ahead, a dark car that could be the Impala in front of it. He’d slow down, but didn’t want to cause suspicion, and Dana needed him. Only a few miles. He trusted that his boys knew what they were doing when they’d sent her to the back up plan and followed it himself. 

When he finally pulled up in front of the gas station, his heart was pounding. He couldn’t see her anywhere. He left the truck running, the heat on, and grabbed the blanket from behind the seat. The falling snow had filled in any footprints she might have made. He scanned the area, looking for where she might go to hide and get warm. His eyes fell on the tiny post office. The lobby light was on. He tromped through the snow and pushed the door open. “Dana?” He called it out softly, moving into the small space.

He found her under the table, asleep and shivering. “Dana.” She woke as he touched her, her eyes growing wide.

“P-pap-p-pa?”

“Come here, girl.” He put the blanket around her and drew her to him. “You;re frozen. Let’s get you into the truck.”

He carried her shaking form to the truck and put her on the seat, tucking the blanket around her and making sure the heat vents were aimed at her before closing the door and climbing in beside her. Once he had the door shut, he reached on the floor for the thermos he’d brought. “It’s cocoa. Help warm you up.” He poured some into the thermos lid and held it to her lips. “There you go. Drink up.” Her shivering worsened after a few sips. “We need to get you warm. I think there’s a hotel up the road.”

“N-no. S-s-sam.”

“I drove by on my way here, Dana. They seem to be okay. We have to get you warm first. Warm and safe. Then we can worry about Sam and your father.”

Dana looked like she wanted to argue, but all that came from her was chattering, so John considered the argument won and set them down the hill toward the motel he’d looked up before he left the hunt he’d been on when she called.

 

Sam watched the truck from the window. A few minutes later he turned to Dean. “Dana’s safe. Dad just picked her up.”

“How do you know?” Dean asked, looking up from the explosive he was working with. 

“His truck just drove by. He should have reached her by now.”

Dean stood and went to check out the back window. “So we give him enough time to get her secure in a room somewhere, then we go.” 

Sam nodded. “You sure about this plan?”

Dean snorted. “I haven’t been sure of anything since Dad called me from the hospital, Sam. I’m not accustomed to being on the receiving end of a hunt.”

“If the car doesn’t start…”

“She’ll start.” Dean set the explosive device on the table. “All we need is a timer.”

“There’s some twine in the weapons bag.” Sam said, looking back at him from the window. “He’s close to breaking the first line. If I drop them all when he does, we should have the time we need.”

Dean just nodded, feeding the end of the twine into the bottle with the chemicals and setting it up. “This will go up fairly quickly.”

“Okay.” Sam crossed to a spot between the beds and pressed on a floorboard near the bigger bed. A small hatch opened in the floor. He dropped down their duffle bags and the weapons bag while Dean laid out the twine. Sam dropped into the hole, ducking under and crawling away toward the front of the cabin. He could see the feet of their visitor, pacing in front of the wards. Dean’s legs dropped down and he hovered there, waiting for Sam’s signal.

When Sam kicked the back of his leg, Dean lit the twine on fire, watching it for a minute to be sure it took before ducking and pulling the trap door closed. He moved toward Sam, and _felt_ the wards give way.

Sam held the illusions of three bodies asleep in the beds above them as Peter and his crew raced into the cabin and he and Sam burst from hiding, diving into the car. The Impala roared to life and Peter appeared at the door to the cabin as they pulled out of the driveway. Three seconds later, the cabin lit up like daylight as the chemicals exploded and set anything left standing ablaze.

One more hunter out of their hair.

 

John carried Dana into the motel room, kicking the door closed and taking her straight into the bathroom, where he started the shower.

“D-door. S-salt. Coming.” Dana stuttered out as he tried to help her get out of her wet clothes. 

“In a minute.”

“Coming. N-now.” Dana shook from head to toe, but pushed him away. “Now.”

John nodded and stood back. “Yeah…okay.” He had to go back to the truck for the bag of supplies, and didn’t like leaving her, even with only feet between them. He grabbed the bags and headed back to the room, scouring the area as he closed the door and drew a thick line of salt in front of it. He did the two windows and splashed holy water over the door. By the time he got back to the bathroom, Dana’s clothes lay in a pile on the floor and she was behind the shower curtain.

“You okay?” 

“Yeah, Papa…getting warm.”

“Good. I’ll be out here.” 

He paced while she warmed herself in the shower. His first duty was to her safety, he’d promised Dean that years and years ago. If it ever came down to a choice, he was to choose Dana. It didn’t sit well with him though, not knowing his boys were in trouble…not knowing there was more trouble still heading their way. 

When Dana emerged from the bathroom, wrapped in towels and followed by a plume of steam, she looked scared, but the color was back in her skin. She let him wrap a blanket from one of the beds around her and huddle into it.

“It followed me…don’t know what…it’s out there.”

 

“Dean!”

“Yeah, I see it.” Dean swerved around the buck standing dead center in the middle of the icy road and swerved nearly off the embankment before he righted the car. The Impala was not exactly built for driving in this kind of weather. “Anything behind us?”

“Yeah. Drive.”

“Any signal yet?”

Sam checked his phone and cursed. “No.”

“Is that?” Dean slammed on the brakes and turned the car into the motel parking lot. “Dad’s truck.” He pulled in next to it and killed the engine, and Sam was out of the car before he was.

Dean yelled out, “Dad, open up,” and turned to reach for Sam, stopping cold as Sam sagged against the car. “Sam?”

Sam started to laugh…a cold, unearthly sound as he straightened, his eyes black as the night. “Sammy isn’t home right now, Dean.”

“Dad!” The door to the motel room opened, but Sam held out his hand and Dean started toward him, his feet dragging in the gravel. “Sam,…come on man…you don’t want to do this.”

As his hand closed around Dean’s throat, Sam smiled. Something in his expression reminded Dean of the Sam he’d met in Palo Alto all those years before. Those dark eyes left Dean’s as he lifted him off the ground. “Send out the girl, and you can have your boy.”

Dean could see his father out of the corner of his eye. “Don’t you do it Dad. You keep her safe.”

“Shut up, Dean.” Sam’s mammoth hand closed harder around Dean’s neck. “Unlike those idiots at the cabin, I’ve been trailing her…I know she’s in there. I want her.”

Dana slipped under John’s arm, and he grabbed her. “I’m right here. It was you following me?”

Sam inclined his head. “You may call me Andras. I have come to call you to your destiny child. Give yourself to me freely and your father and uncle may live unharmed.”

Dana shook her head. “Let my father go, and I’ll consider it.”

The smile on Sam’s face turned Dean’s stomach. “You are very little to try to barter with one as old as I, child. Let me be very clear. I will take you by force and deliver you to the one with a price on your head if you do not offer yourself to me first.”

“Dana, don’t listen to him. Go inside.” Dean gurgled as the hand tightened again.

“I will kill you, Dean Winchester…do not tempt me further.”

Dean closed both hands around Sam’s wrists and tried to loosen his grip, but his vision was blurring and he was losing his battle to retain consciousness. “Sammy…I know you’re in there somewhere. Fight…” his voice faded as the darkness claimed him, his last sight that of his daughter fighting against his father, trying to come to him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dana is determined to save Sam, and find out once and for all who is trying to kill her.

Dana pulled against her Papa, but he was stronger and just managed to keep her behind the line of salt. “You let him go. Put him down.” She drew herself up to her full height, which next to Sam was nothing, but she lifted her chin and forced herself to be calm. “Put him down or I’ll put you down.”

The demon Andras laughed with Sam’s laughter and Dana swallowed. She had to reach Sam. He was in there somewhere, just like that man…the hunter. She could save him, she just had to find him first.

“You have an over-inflated sense of your own powers, little lady. I like that.”

_There_. 

“I know my own strength.” Dana said, proud of the confidence she projected in her voice. “Do you?”

“Dana, don’t provoke him.” John said softly, his hand still on the scruff of her neck. 

“Trust me Papa.” Dana pulled the blanket closer around her and moved so her toes were on the line of salt. _Sam._

It should have been easier…would have been if she hadn’t pushed him to break the connection. “Come along, little one. Together you and I are destined for great things.”

Dana shook her head. Sam slipped away, behind the inky dark that filled him. “I have to get closer,” she said in a whisper.

“No.” John tightened his grip. 

Dana grabbed his free hand. It was a no-no, a serious one, but this was a bad situation. She pushed her thoughts into her Papa’s head. _I need to touch him, to get to Sam. I’m going to put him down, and we need to get him in here. Exorcism._

John reeled a little with the invasion, but she didn’t give him time to think about it, she stepped forward, one hand emerging from the blanket, a gun in her hand. “Maybe I should rephrase…Put my father down, bastard.” Her first shot bit through his thigh, dropping him to his knee and her second hit the arm holding her father. His grip faltered and Dean slid to the snowy ground. 

“Now, Papa.” John crossed to them and grabbed Sam, dragging him into the room and tossing him onto one of the beds. Dana started drawing a line of salt around the bed while he went out for Dean.

Andras was cursing loudly as Dana doubled the line of salt with holy water, pausing every few seconds to splash some on him. She looked up as John laid Dean down on the other bed. “Is he okay?”

John shook his head. “I don’t know. You worry about securing him, I’ll take care of Dean.”

Dana nodded. She couldn’t feel Sam, even with him right there. She didn’t like this one bit, and as soon as this was over, she was going to demand he come back inside her head, where he belonged.

“Very clever little girl, aren’t you?” Andras said as she completed the second circle.

“Because I know how to use a gun? Or because I knew where to shoot?” She looked up to check on her father and Papa. Dean was starting to come around. “Papa, I need my bag from the car.” 

John looked up and nodded. “Is he secure?” 

“We’re going to want to tie him up, I think, but we’re good for now. I need clothes.” 

Dana backed off to the dresser, leaning against it where she could watch both men. 

“You shot your uncle, I’m impressed.”

“I shot a demon. Isn’t all that special.” She forced her eyes to meet his. “You’re not all that special.”

He laughed and she looked away. _Sam_

She knew he was in there…John stamped snow off his feet as he closed the door behind him and tossed her bag on the floor. Dana grabbed the bag and took it to the bathroom, pulling a clean pair of pants and a sweatshirt from it and dressing quickly.

John was thumbing through his journal and pulling together supplies they would need to exorcise this Andras. Dana climbed up on the bed by her father. His eyes were open and he offered a tentative smile. “Its okay, Daddy. I’m gonna get Sam back for you.” The bruising around his throat was already dark. “Don’t try to talk. It’s going to be okay.” 

She took a deep breath and kissed his forehead. “Papa?”

“Almost, Dana.”

“Do you have handcuffs or rope?”

He nodded and held up a pair of cuffs. “I need you to cuff him to the bed. I need to be able to touch him.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea—“

She looked at him, green eyes flashing fire. “I know what I’m doing.” She felt energy surging through her, strong…maybe stronger than she could control. ”I can reach him.”

John nodded and stepped over the salt line to yank Sam’s arms up over his head. “You going to let a child do your dirty work, John?” Sam’s voice twisted around the name and John twisted the injured arm, drawing a gasp.

He secured Sam’s wrists and stepped back, looking to Dana. “Now what?”

“Watch my back, be ready to start the exorcism when I tell you.” Dana said. She grabbed a bottle of holy water and a blade and jumped up on the bed, straddling Sam’s stomach. “Okay, Andras…you wanted me? Here I am.” She could see her father struggling to sit up and spared him a glance, _pushing_ him and holding him while her thought pounded into his head. _Can’t do this and try to protect you too._

He fought against her for a second, then collapsed and she turned her attention to the demon. “You seem to know a few things. Tell me who has this price on my head and why.” Dana ripped open Sam’s shirt, exposing his chest and settling her hands against the skin. She could feel the demon…and Sam…

“Don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing, little one. I’m no fool like these others you’ve encountered, ask your precious Sam.” Sam’s face went slack and still, then he blinked.

“Dana?”

Dana almost cried in relief. “Sam…it’s okay.”

“No, Dana…it’s not. John…exorcise him…kill me if you have to….its bad….Dana, listen…I can’t fight him…I let him…years ago, before I knew your father, I let him into me…gave him permission. He can’t enter someone without permission.”

His body seized and nearly threw Dana to the floor, but she held on, following Sam down inside himself as Andras re-emerged. “See, little one? It is futile to resist. Open yourself to me and I will let Sam go.”

Dana didn’t respond, she was too busy burrowing into Sam. She didn’t know how she knew…but she did. If she could just get inside…get under, she’d see what Sam saw…she’d know this demon the way you only could when it lived in your skin.

 

John watched as Dana’s eyes grew hazy, glazing over. Her breathing mirrored Sam’s. 

“Dad.” Dean was hoarse as he pulled himself up to sitting. “Get her out.”

John crossed to the line of salt, but found he couldn’t penetrate the barrier. “She’s got us blocked out.”

“How?” Dean rubbed at his throat and breathed through a wave of nausea. 

“She’s been…I don’t know Dean. She…put her thoughts in my head. She’s never done that before.”

Dean nodded. “Me too. Did she tell you…anything?”

John shifted uneasily. “I think she’s trying to get information out of him.”

“Sam…or the demon?” Dean was obviously worried, his face pale. “She’s a kid…what does she think, she’s doing?”

“Saving him.” John said wearily.

 

It would be easier to save Sam if he wasn’t fighting her. Dana wasn’t prepared to fight both of them. _Sam…let me…_

He had her almost boxed in by barriers. She recognized them as a defensive reflex, but it didn’t help. _Sam, help me._

She felt him respond, felt him around her. _Show me_

Images filtered past her, vague, dancing memories, then one sharpened. She was in some sort of temple, her heart pounding, her body sore. It took her a moment to realize she was _Sam_. “Let me in and we will deal with them together, Sam. Your enemies will be my enemies and my enemies yours. We will wreak damnation on them together.”

It shifted then, and she/Sam were in some mansion, a knife in their hand. Blood dripped from the walls. She tried to pull away from the image, but there was no where to go. They screamed and the dark, black of the demon poured out of them, leaving them weak and bloody and standing amid a half dozen dead bodies, including a child who was maybe 7. She felt her stomach churning…felt Sam retching. She knew their bodies were convulsing.

_Sam…stay with me._ She needed to get them turned to Andras. Together they could find out…They were back in the temple room. Sam was…older, though she wasn’t sure how she knew that. There were Harriers…three of them…and another…a person…possessed. 

“You have become a formidable opponent, Samuel,” the person with yellow eyes said. “We were right to withhold your gifts from you. Now that you have come into your birthright, though, it would be a shame to let you go.”

“I’m done with you, and your brethren, Asmodai. Kill me if you want, but I will not serve you.”

“I see why Andras liked you so much. That passion is wonderful.” He came closer, smiling. “I have no interest in you. I only want the child.”

“She is of no use to you. I saw to that.” She felt the fear stirring in him. “She will never be host to one of you.”

“I didn’t say I wanted her as a host.”

Dana struggled to control her body, picking up the knife and holy water. “Now Papa.” She didn’t know if the words came out of her mouth, and trying to see her hands was disorienting as she looked up from Sam’s eyes and down from her own. Holy water over the blade, onto Sam’s chest, then she was cutting into his skin and slicing her own palm, pressing them together and falling forward, falling _into_ Sam. 

For a time, they were like one, the demon, Sam and Dana, rolling together as the sound of Latin filled the room, then together, Sam and Dana were pushing at Andras, the connection between them snapping audibly into place, thoughts and emotions blurring into one. She could feel the demon being pulled out of him and getting trapped in the circle she’d created. 

“Never again.” She said, blasting at the black smoke with every ounce of power at her disposal.

 

Blinding light filled the room as a blast rumbled the bed and shook the walls. The demon disintegrated, much like another had when Dana was still an infant, black dust falling like a blanket over the still forms of Sam and Dana. Dean sat up shakily and looked at his father. “Is it over?” 

John took a step toward the bed, but the barrier held. “Apparently not.”

“That was the demon though, right?”

John nodded. “I think so.”

 

The blast sent them reeling, careening into the walls Sam had constructed to keep her out, crashing through them with a force that left her feeling bruised. _No._ She felt Sam pushing, but there was no where to go…she was fused to him as the memory spilled around them…that same temple room…Father…a man she knew was his father…the one who raised him. 

Sam was terrified, already bleeding…she could feel blood on her face. The man was chanting, opening himself and demons poured into him. She/Sam tried to back away, but they were held in place. “I will show you your place, boy.” He was coming closer and Dana felt Sam being pressed to his knees. He fought back and nails dug into his back. “You’re nothing but a means to an end…a body to be used for our purposes.”

She felt Sam trying to push them out of the memory as the man pushed his thumb into Sam’s mouth. “And if I chose to make you my whore while we wait for that purpose to roll around, that is my privilege.”

Sam succeeded in knocking them free of the memory as the man’s zipper came down and they crashed through time and space, landing in a dark closet. She could sense the demons around her…feel the biting on her legs…It was familiar, like the thing that had chased her off the school grounds. Sam’s legs kicked out and they moved around him, climbing onto his back, swarming over him until he was screaming. 

She pushed them this time, rolling them out of the dark and into what looked like a school. Sam felt like he was maybe 14, part of a gang of other kids pushing around a younger boy. _Douglas Dupri_

Dana felt her horror rising as she watched Sam’s hands lash out and spin the boy around before pushing him toward one of the others. She wanted out now…didn’t want to see this…the past Sam had always hidden from her, but she couldn’t separate herself from him and theY spun away again, bouncing from one memory to another, crashing through barriers and walls that Sam had built to protect himself…as well as her. All she could do was cling to Sam, and trust that if he had lived through it, she could survive the memories.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dana discovers more about Sam than she bargained for as they tumble through his memory, and when they both come to, Dean is torn over who needs him more.

Dana and Sam careened through memories and blasted through walls in his mind until they hit something that stopped them both. Dana looked up from Sam’s eyes and saw her Papa kneeling between two men. _Sam?_

She recognized the man in the robes approaching her Papa as Sam’s adoptive father, she could feel the evil possessing him.

> It was in front of him now, and almost casually drew the tip of the blade over his cheek, drawing a line of fire and blood. “You will, so that I can return it to them, with gratitude.”
> 
> “You aren’t leaving this warehouse alive.”
> 
> It laughed and turned away. “On the contrary, John. Tonight is a very special night. Tonight is the night I am reborn. Tonight is the night I am made flesh.”
> 
> It paced away over to Sam, playing with the blade. “Call him.”
> 
> Sam shook his head and it drew a line down his leg with the blade. “Call him and maybe I’ll let him take your place.”
> 
> Sam shivered, pulling against the iron that held him to the table. “Dean. Come for me.” His voice sounded small in the big space, lost under the chanting.
> 
> “Louder. I don’t think he heard you.”
> 
> “Dean! Come for me!” Sam yelled, turning his face away from John’s, away from the demon. “Fuck you.”

Sam was pulling away, trying to turn them out of the memory. Dana could feel blood draining from Sam. The memory stuttered forward, and her father was there, cutting people and leaving them dead behind him.

> Two of them came at him, and both fell, cut nearly in half. “Want to keep dying, keep coming.”
> 
> “There you are. I do hope my son wasn’t too hard on you. He can be quite cruel.” He stood over Sam, the knife point playing over his chest.
> 
> Dean stopped a few paces behind his father. “He isn’t your son. And yes, he can be quite cruel.”
> 
> “Save me, Dean. You promised.” 
> 
> Dean took a few stumbling steps forward before he found his control again. “Don’t worry Sammy, not a single Winchester is dying today.”

Another fast forward and Dana was looking at a woman in white, blood seeping onto the floor. _Is that…_ Her skin was a shade darker than Dana’s, her eyes cold and dead.

 _Your mother_ Sam’s presence was filled with an ache. _We need…we need to go Dana. We can’t…you can’t see…_

Dana wrapped herself around him and he tried to move them, tried to force them up and out…but she wasn’t done.

> The demon’s smile was cold as he leaned down to kiss Sam obscenely. “Yes, well…surprise, surprise…I lied. I’m a demon Sam. What did you expect? I’ve kept your powers suppressed, held you in check when your ‘better’ nature might have sent you off in search of something purer…I’ve fed you everY piece of information you have about yourself…all to get us here…so that your blood could help me return to the world.”
> 
> It squatted beside the table, his finger swirling in the gathering blood. “That’s good enough. Bring the child.”

_Is that me?_ she asked as a woman handed an infant the possessed man.

_Yes…Your father had never seen you._

> The demon was chanting in Latin, his hand pouring blood over Dana’s head. 
> 
> “Fuck. Sam, more!”
> 
> Sam pulled his head up and locked his eyes on Dean’s. “Free yourself and get over here now!”
> 
> Dean’s body shook even as the demon looked up, holding Dana aloft in front of him, letting the baptismal blood flow down over her tiny body. Dean’s hands came free first, reaching behind him for the gun. His feet hit the ground and he stumbled forward, his left arm closing around his daughter’s tiny body for the first time, his right jamming the colt up into the ribcage of the body the demon was possessing.

Dana could feel the magic, the compulsion that tied her father and Sam together. She let go of the memory and they spun away, landing in another that made Sam shudder and try to move them again. _Dana, please…_

She dug her heels in, looking down at her father from Sam’s eyes. There was magic between them, eating into her father, blood on Sam’s hands. Sam was panting with the exertion as he pulled himself up and off of Dean. “Got you now.” He fumbled for his pants and pulled out a cell phone. “He’s on his way to Boston now. I’ve done my part. Make sure you have your part done. This time John Winchester won’t be getting away.” Sam managed to push them loose, trying to placate Dana, but she was angry now. _You…what did you do?_

Sam pushed, but she was stronger now. _Dana…I was…different…you…saved me…you changed me._

_Show me._

_No. Dana please._

Her scream echoed through them both and Sam cowered away, following as she pulled them back further, landing them in the temple room. Sam was kneeling inside a figure drawn on the floor in chalk, whispering the words to an oath, his blood spilling into a pot. The air shimmered, a demon appearing. There was pain,…old pain she recognized from his wounds, the scars…then it was gone. 

The room shifted, but didn’t disappear. Dana felt Sam’s body shake, felt the pain as claws scraped across his belly, dug into his shoulder…then…something else. She started as she realized, tried to pull them loose, but the pain held her she screamed with Sam into the marble floor, stared up at the knees of a Harrier who was draging Sam’s head up by the hair. _Sam._

Afraid, Dana blasted out around her to make them go away. Light flared through the memory, through Dana and Sam…and everything lay naked and open between them…in that split second she saw everything Sam was and had been and would be.

 

A second wave of light blasted the room and the air around the bed shimmered. Dana stirred, then jumped off Sam like she’d been burned. Sam sat up reaching for her, but she backed away, then turned and ran for the bathroom.

“Dana!” Sam’s voice was anguished and he came up off the bed before his knees buckled and he sat down on it hard.

“Sam?” Dean’s voice was still hoarse and he reached for Sam, but he pulled away.

“Jesus, Dean.” His arms wrapped around himself and he rocked. “She knows…she knows…”

“What, Sam? What does she know?”

Sam looked up at him, his face lost, his eyes filled with tears and anguish. “Everything…everything…she saw it all…she knows…”

Dean looked up at his father, then back at Sam. “I don’t understand.”

Sam shook, standing and taking a few steps toward the bathroom. “She…searched my memory…she saw….she…” He closed his eyes and changed his path for the door to the room. “She saw what I did to you….she watched her mother die…god Dean…” 

“Okay, let’s calm down.” John said, reaching out to touch Sam’s shoulder. “She killed the demon, she saved you.”

“I can’t…I need air.” Sam opened the door and was gone before Dean could react.

“Want me to go after him?” John asked.

Dean shook his head. “Give him some space. Let’s deal with Dana.” He knocked on the door. “Dana honey, it’s Daddy.”

“I’m not coming out.” He could hear the tears in her voice.

“Sam’s gone, baby. He went for a walk.” He waited a minute, then tried the door. She hadn’t locked it. “Okay. I’m coming in.”

She looked up from where she sat on the floor in front of the toilet, her face pale and covered in tears, but there was an accusation in her eyes. “You never told me.”

Dean shook his head. “Told you what?”

“About Sam. You never told me he was…” She shook and turned away, leaning over the toilet as she threw up. When she was done, she turned back, rubbing a hand over her mouth. “He…was a…he was evil…he did awful things. He killed…people…He…”

Dean squatted in front of her, nodding. He rubbed away tears. “Yes, Dana he did…and he was. He once was a very different man than he is today.”

“You knew…you knew what he did…what he was.”

Again Dean nodded. “Yes.”

“How…how can you…you knew and yet you trusted him.”

“I don’t expect you to understand Dana. You’re too young.”

“You didn’t tell me.”

“There are a lot of things I don’t tell you Dana. Things you aren’t ready for. You didn’t need to know this…not yet.”

“He did things to you.” She looked up at him. “He had things done to him. I don’t even know what to think.”

“You hurt him. He’s tried so hard to protect you from all of that.”

“He was my age when…when that man…hurt him.” He could see the pain register in her face. “Like that.” She looked like she might be sick again, but took a few deep breaths. “I saw…the Harriers…the woman he hurt…you…” She closed her eyes. “I saw everything.”

“And now you have to adjust.” Dean said. He caressed her cheek. “You’re strong Dana. You can handle it.”

She shook her head. “I can’t see him right now.”

He sighed. “That’s probably best. He was a wreck when he left. I’m going to go find him, get us a second room. You can stay here with Papa tonight, if you think we’re done with hunters for a bit.”

She looked up suddenly, grabbing his arm before he stood. “That’s what I went in for, then we sorta got trapped. The demon. Sam didn’t know he knew. Andras made me realize Sam might. The one sending the hunters. Asmodai. That’s it’s name.” 

Dean looked up at his father. “I’ll do some research. You go get Sam.” Dean kissed Dana’s head and stood. 

“Can you feel him?”

Dana nodded miserably. “I almost wish…he’s not far…he’s too tired. I…put him through…a lot.”

Dean sighed and left his daughter to go looking for Sam. He paused at the office to get a room, then followed the only footprints in the snowy parking lot. He found him less than a mile away, sitting on a fallen tree covered in snow, huddled into his coat and shivering. Dean stopped in front of him and waited.

Sam shook his head. “No, Dean. Just…let me go. You don’t need me…she doesn’t…”

Dean stepped in close, pulling his left hand out of his pocket and looking at it briefly before he slipped it inside Sam’s coat and shirt, pressing it to the wound Dana had created. When the silver ring pressed against Sam’s skin, he shuddered. Dean waited until it had warmed, then turned Sam’s face with his other hand. “You promised me when you gave this to me that as long as I wear it, you’ll be here, with me.”

Sam’s eyes closed and he licked his lips. “This is different. She knows….she…” He shivered. “You don’t understand.” His eyes opened and sought out Dean’s. Dean had never seen Sam look so little and afraid.

He caressed Sam’s face, then kissed him softly. “Come on, I got us our own room. It’s too cold out here.”

The walk back to the motel was quiet. Dean had made sure their room was on the other side of the motel, as far away from Dana as they could get. Not that distance generally mattered. Sam was sullen and quiet, completely pliant as Dean lead him into the room and peeled off his coat. Dean pulled him into a kiss, but Sam didn’t respond. “Sam?”

Sam blinked and Dean could almost see him snapping back into himself. “She’s crying. I made her cry.” 

“No, Sam. You didn’t.”

“She was inside me…and she made me remember…” He rubbed his shoulder and Dean’s eyes followed the hand. “She…god Dean…she was _me_.” Sam shook his head and hugged himself. “I tried to…push her away…but she…she’s so much stronger now….she…she saw it all…everything I’ve ever done…”

“Sam.” Dean guided him to the bed. “Shh…it’s okay.” He blocked out the idea that Dana had felt what had happened to Sam. It was enough to know that she knew…but to have actually been there, inside Sam…

Sam turned to him. “Everything Dean…she knows I…used you…and how. She knows I took babies away from their mothers…She knows…” He swallowed hard. The tears were spilling faster now, sobs breaking past his attempts to hold them in. “Everything I’ve tried to forget…things I blocked out…the rape, the blood…the hexes…the killing…”

Dean’s fingers brushed at the tears, not noticing his own as he bent to kiss Sam’s cheeks. “It’s going to be okay, baby. Dana’s a strong girl. She…she’ll understand.” He kissed Sam then, parting his lips with his tongue.

“I don’t.”

“What?”

“I don’t understand…” His breath stuttered around a sob. “I’m a fraud…I walk around in this life I haven’t earned and you pretend I belong…and now she knows I don’t….and I can’t figure it out…how this happened…how I let it happen…I wanted it…I wanted you, her…I was selfish and let it…but I’m not a good man…I’m not…and you both…deserve someone who is…someone who can protect you…not…not me…”

Dean’s stomach flopped and he put his arms around his brother’s shoulder, pulling him close. “I don’t want anyone else, Sammy. I want you. Good man or not.”

Sam only sobbed in response, clinging to Dean and burying his face in Dean’s shirt. Dean let his fingers stroke through Sam’s hair. In all their years together, Sam had never broken down like this. “Shh…Sammy…I’m here. I’ve got you.”

Sam took a deep breath and sat back. “I forgot just how bad I was…until I saw it through her eyes, Dean.” He stood up and moved away. “She was horrified…furious…and I couldn’t stop it…I should have been able to stop it…protect her…” He stared out the window at the falling snow. “I let myself get possessed…and she had to save me…”

Dean crossed to him, arms circling his waist, face pressing against his shoulder. “She’s only paying you back for all the times you saved her.” He pressed a kiss into the side of his neck. “Or are you forgetting that you made the choices that changed your life? That you saved all of us that day when you were supposed to die? Or that night in our old house. We wouldn’t have lived through it without you.”

“Without me, you’d never have been in that position to begin with.” Sam countered. He was calmer now, though Dean wasn’t sure he considered it an improvement. “I was wrong to think I could redeem myself…that loving you and Dana was enough.”

“Sam?”

Sam didn’t move, but Dean felt him distance himself. He squeezed tighter and shook his head against Sam’s back. “Don’t you dare pull away from me. You may not realize it right now, Sam, but I haven’t ever pretended with you. I love you too damn much to pull it off.” He pulled back and turned Sam around. “Maybe I’ve coddled you…held you too close…” He sighed. He held up the hand with the silver ring Sam had given him. “You told me what you were, the night you gave me this.” He met Sam’s eyes, tried to pour his love into his words and his eyes. “You told me and when I put it on my finger, I put it all away, swept the slate clean. I love you. Dana loves you.”

The tears were back in Sam’s eyes before he closed them. “She hates me.”

“Trust me in this. I saw her eyes. She has a lot to think about…but tell me this…has she broken the connection?”

Sam’s eyes opened and Dean could imagine him reaching out for her. He started a little then shook his head. “No.”

“She’s realizing that her Uncle hasn’t always been the person he is today. None of us have. Learning that is part of growing up.” Dean kissed him then, soft and chaste. “You’re exhausted. Come to bed. Let me make you feel better.”

Sam came with him, letting Dean push his shirt off onto the floor. Dean sat Sam on the bed and knelt in front of him to pull his boots off. “This is you, Sam…” Dean’s hand slid over his shoulders, up to his neck, his thumbs tracing his cheekbones. “This is the man I love. Nothing else matters.” He rose up on his knees and kissed over his cheekbones, over his closed eyes. “I want you Sam…I have always wanted you…even before the compulsion…from the moment I saw you.”

Dean took a breath. “Look at me Sam.” His eyes opened slowly. “I want you to…see me Sam…” At first he didn’t think Sam understood, then he blinked.

“Dean,” he breathed. “Are you sure?”

“You promised me you’d never do it without permission. I want you to see how much I want you…I want you to know…everything…we’ve hidden too much. See me.”

Sam nodded slowly. “Close your eyes and take a deep breath.”

Dean had the sensation of hands closing around him as he did as Sam said, then everything tilted and Sam was inside him, around him, everywhere at once. Dean reeled a little, but Sam’s large hand on his shoulder kept him from falling. After a long moment, Sam pulled back, but didn’t break away. Dean’s eyes opened, meeting Sam’s briefly before they melted into a kiss, lips and tongues falling together until Dean wasn’t sure who was who. Slowly they moved further up the bed, hands attempting to pull clothes from each other as Sam rolled them through memories and puddles of pure emotion.

Somewhere Dean managed to free himself from his jeans, and realize they’d spilled from his thoughts into Sam’s. He pulled away to look down at Sam, seeing himself in Sam’s eyes and feeling an overwhelming love in the space between them. Flesh pressed to flesh, pushing the nearly physical emotion into their skin as they melded together, Dean cradling Sam’s body to his, even as Sam cradled Dean’s soul to his own.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The family copes with what Dana did; Dean tries to hold them together while Dana tries to make sense of Sam's life and Sam tries to feel worthy...and neither Sam nor Dana can begin to face the other...

Dana watched her Papa sleep, sitting with her back to the headboard, her knees pulled up tight to her chest. Her eyes hurt, from crying and rubbing for the last few hours. She was cried out, but she couldn’t shake the emotion…couldn’t tell whose emotion it was, hers or Sam’s.

His memories spilled through her randomly. Images, thoughts, feelings…sensory input…She’d tried to control them at first, but it was too much…and they flowed over the walls and barriers she tried to put up to contain them. 

He had always been this shining light in her life…always there, always helpful…and while she’d known his life hadn’t always been like that, and she knew there was dark stuff he kept hidden from her…she’d never imagined…

She shuddered as the memory of his first kill swept through her. He was seventeen, months after he swore his oath and spilled his own blood. She could feel the knife in her hand, feel the heat of the blood soaking into her skin. She closed her eyes and willed it away, laying her head on her knees. 

Exhausted, she wanted desperately to sleep, but knew it would only bring her nightmares. She had never realized just how sheltered a child she had been. She’d always thought that because she knew about the evil that stalks the night, knew about ghosts and vampires and demons, that somehow she knew…everything about evil.

But she was learning that when it came to real evil, she knew nothing.

It had never occurred to her that mortal men would willingly offer themselves up to possession…not even by one demon, but many. She had never wondered what it felt like to have some _thing_ take control of her body and use it to…She shook at the thought, at the feeling of Sam’s body and the things the demon made him do.

Nothing was worse though than the thing he’d fought the hardest to keep from her. It made her feel dirty, she had violated him just as surely as the Harriers did. She flinched, twitched as claws grabbed and pulled and he was pushed to the floor, she sobbed and bit into her knee, trying to keep from waking her Papa sleeping in the other bed. He couldn’t know. Not…she closed her eyes as they used him, her body feeling the echo.

Dana wasn’t naïve, she was, after all, a Winchester and thirteen…and they’d done the whole mystery of life thing at school, but this was different than knowing a thing…this was _knowing_ it, with her body, not just her mind. 

She tried to make sense of it…to adjust her image of Sam to include it all…but she couldn’t…There was the Sam who killed and stole and used magic to control her father and there was the Sam she had known and there was a third Sam…who was broken and small and cried in the dark for his mother while demons chewed on his legs…who submitted beneath Harriers…who tried to run away…and no matter how she tried the three of them wouldn’t go together. 

 

Dean rolled over, reaching into the empty space where Sam had been. The sheets were cold. He opened his eyes. Sam stood staring out the window, silent and unmoving. Dean watched until Sam felt him and turned, a sad smile on his face. “Hey.”

Dean stretched. He could still feel the touch of Sam inside him. “Hey.”

Sam turned to face him. It was obvious he had been crying again at some point. “You okay?” Sam asked, the concern coloring his voice and the touch Dean felt inside him.

“I’m good. What about you?”

Sam took a deep breath and went back to staring out the window. “I’m…working on it.”

Dean watched him for a minute, watched him find a comfortable stance, watched a forced calm settle over him. He sighed and relaxed himself. They had never had anything like what they shared the night before…all open and offering and Dean was still softly pulsing with the intensity of it all.

Slowly he got out of bed and padded to the window to look over Sam’s shoulder. The snow had stopped falling, but they’d be lucky to get the Impala the rest of the way down the mountain with that much snow on the ground. He could feel Sam, sense the movement in his head as he worked to restore order, to replace walls that Dana had torn down. He breathed deep and settled his arms around his brother, thinking an invitation back to bed.

It should seem odd to know that Sam had access to every thought, every emotion and memory…but it didn’t…somehow it was comforting…a little bit of what he and Dana had shared for so long.

He felt Sam chuckle. “You were jealous?”

Dean kissed the shallow between his shoulder blades. “Only sometimes.”

Sam’s hands slid over his, pulling first one, then the other to his mouth to kiss. “You shouldn’t be.”

“I know…” He remembered watching them together…before Dana learned to talk, knowing that they communicated in a way Dean would never share.

Sam nudged him a little and suddenly Dean had a different perspective on that memory.

_Sam cajoled Dana, dangling a toy just out of reach. She giggled and cooed, stretching her arms trying to reach it._

Dean was aware of how her body hummed with energy, the slick-silvery threads weaving around and between them…and himself…Dana’s eyes, her smile that was only for her daddy…and he wasn’t sure how he knew all that, but he did…without words.

“Never be jealous.” Sam whispered.

Dean opened his mouth to respond, but stopped when his cell phone rang. It took a minute to find, still in the back pocket of his jeans somewhere on the floor. “Dad?”

He looked up at Sam and held up a hand. “Is she okay? Yeah…I’ll be over in a minute.”

“Dana?” Sam asked, though his expression said he knew the answer.

“Dad’s worried, she’s been in the bathroom since he woke up. Won’t come out.”

Sam’s face pinched, the pain of the night before evident as he tried to find the right words. “She’s…It’s all pretty hard for her. Don’t expect her to just cope with it.”

“She’s going to have to Sam.” Dean pulled on his pants and rooted around under the bed for his boots. “We have bigger problems than her having temper tantrums after she’s the one who did the wrong thing.”

“Dean-“

“No, Sam. She was wrong. I realize she’s probably traumatized by the whole thing, but we’ve got a fucking demon to deal with.”

“Are you finished?” Sam asked, crossing his arms as Dean pulled his shirt on.

“Yeah. For now.”

“I know you don’t want to hear this…but you have to…before you go barging in there.” Sam sighed and dragged his hands through his hair. “What happened last night…essentially…she relived every moment of my life, Dean. Every one.” 

He looked Dean in the eye. “She, god I feel sick even thinking it, but Dean, she was raped last night, repeatedly…she was possessed…she killed and…and…raped…she was betrayed and bled and…”

“Stop. Please Sam.” Dean squeezed his eyes shut. He’d managed to put it out of his head…had to so that he could concentrate on Sam. The thought of his little girl enduring the things he knew Sam had endured…He shuddered and felt Sam’s arms and presence fold around him.

“On top of that, she’s feeling plenty guilty…for forcing me…and foolish, for thinking she could handle it…and just to put the icing on the whole situation, all the blocks and stuff Missouri and I put in place to try to let her grow up slowly are gone. She has all of her power at her disposal. I don’t think she’s realized it…but that’s how she blew up Andras…and I don’t know if you knew, she plugged me with two shots, one in the leg, the other in my arm. When I woke up, when she left me, they were gone. Even the cut on my chest is almost gone.” Sam kissed his forehead. “We have to go slow.”

 

Slow. Dean wasn’t necessarily good with slow. “Dana, I’d really like to see you.” He leaned against the door frame and tried not to sound exasperated. “Come on, honey. Papa’s gone to get us breakfast and Sam’s still in our room. It’s just you and me.”

The door opened slowly and Dana looked up at him, her green eyes filled with red, her nose running. She fell into him, pressing herself against his body as giant sobs wracked her. He folded his arms around her. “Okay, baby….it’s okay. Everything is going to be okay.”

“He hates me…he must.” She looked up at him. “Did he tell you? What I did to him?”

Dean kissed her forehead and nodded. “Yes. He did. Told me what you got in return too.”

Her face was red, with embarrassment, shame…pain…he wasn’t sure. “I—I didn’t know…I mean…I thought I did.” She buried her face in his shirt again and her next words were lost to a low buzz against his abdomen.

“Dana, honey…look, take a breath…a deep breath…and let’s sit down.” He walked them over to the bed. Truth was, he didn’t have a clue what to say. “Are you…alright? The last 36 hours have been rough. Physically, are you okay?”

She nodded. “I-I think so. I’m sore, but not bad.”

Dean brushed a hand along her cheek. “That’s good. I hear you shot him, took the demon down so that you could exorcise him.”

She nodded, then her eyes got big. “God…Dad…I shot Sam.”

Dean smiled and nodded. “And I am very proud of you.”

“I _shot_ him…then I…barged into him and pushed him and…” 

“He’s fine…physically anyway.”

“What?”

“He says you healed him.”

“I…what?” She looked confused, some of the pain draining. She stood and walked away. “I don’t heal.”

“Apparently you do.”

She paced a little then stopped. “You said he was fine, physically.” She chewed on her lip and he could almost _feel_ her reaching out, but she recoiled, closing her eyes. “Is he…okay?” she asked after a long pause.

“I’m not going to lie to you Dana. You may not be an adult, but…what you did yesterday, what you experienced yesterday…it kind of means you’re going to have to act like one. So I’m going to treat you like one. What you did, after the demon thing…what you did to Sam was wrong. You hurt him.”

She crossed her arms in front of herself and Dean ached to pull her into his arms, but she needed this…she needed to face it, or she’d never be able to face Sam again. “Is he…does he hate me?”

“You said some nasty things…and you didn’t say a lot more, but you thought them…and he heard you. He’s hurting and he’s sad and he has to re-build a lot of defenses you destroyed, wall up things you let loose. Sam wasn’t just protecting you from the man he used to be Dana, he was protecting himself.” 

That obviously hadn’t occurred to her. “All I could see was what he did to you…how he used you…and I had to know…” She trembled and looked up at him. “I couldn’t stop…every time he tried to make me…I had to know…and there was so much there…so much I didn’t know…and I was so angry…The things I said…He must just hate me now.”

Dean sighed. “He doesn’t hate you Dana.” He looked up at her. “He’s not even angry. He’s worried.”

“About me?”

He nodded and she looked like she was about to start bawling again. “When I first met him, Sam was a different man, Dana. Being with me, and with you has changed him. He chose to leave everything behind and change himself…and he’s spent the last 12 and ½ years believing he wasn’t good enough…that nothing he ever did was good enough to redeem him.”

“And I just validated that last night.” Dana hung her head. “I should go talk to him….tell him I’m sorry…that I—“ She stopped, her back to Dean. “Nothing I say will ever make this better, will it?”

Dean inhaled deeply, a little surprised that she’d figured that out already. “No, Dana. Only time and love can fix this.”

“I do love him.” She said it softly.

“Then, that’s what you should tell him.” Dean stood up. “But not until you’ve had a shower, washed that mushy face and had some breakfast.”

She started to protest and he turned her around, heading her back to the bathroom. “No arguing. He’s doing the same thing. You both need a little space.” Dean pulled the door shut behind her and sighed. This was not going to be easy.

 

Sam was grateful when the door closed behind Dean and he was alone. His body hurt from the strain of the last few days. He could feel Dana tentatively…the vague connection that bound them even when they were apart…it was enough to know she was hurting, that she wanted to know he was okay, but was afraid…it was enough that he knew where she was and that Dean wasn’t coddling her.

He collapsed onto the bed. Childhood memories he had hidden in the deepest recesses of his brain flared to life at random moments, things he’d lived through only by forgetting them. It had taken a lifetime to hide away the things that made him the man he had been and in less than a moment, Dana had exposed them all…left him stranded in a wasteland of memory and fear and pain…and her horror, her anger…it had poured through him, forced him to see those moments from her eyes, to see him as he really was.

He had always known he was not a good man. He had tried, for Dean…for Dana. Of all of them maybe John saw him best, not obligated by the blindness of love…held to him only by the requirement of blood.

Now…he couldn’t hide anymore. It was there, laid out inside him. Dean had told him that it didn’t matter, that nothing mattered from the time before they were together, but Sam knew better. It was his past that was threatening them. He should have told Dean years before about Asmodai, but he’d escaped him, he’d run…run back to Dean, to Dana…he’d locked away the past and played house instead.

He sighed and curled up on the bed, huddling into himself like he would in the punishment closet, leave as little flesh exposed as possible. They poured through him, swirling in nonsensical patterns, memories and images of the scared little boy, the murderous young man, the man he became in those first early days with Dean…he didn’t feel the tears. 

Like a sliver of sun climbing over the horizon, another memory slipped out of hiding…only it wasn’t his own…it was Dean’s. Sam could see himself, kneeling at Dean’s feet, the ring held between them in offering, in question…he could feel Dean’s desire, his trust…the love that had changed everything.

He cradled the emotion, tried desperately to believe it. With Dean in the room it had been easy. Now…it slipped away too easily, replaced with the condemnation and anger Dana radiated as she left him…

Sam sat up suddenly. He remembered. Asmodai. He knew how to find him. He knew. He could…if he found him…if he killed him…Dana would be free. Maybe then she could forgive him, maybe then…

He stuck his feet into his boots and stood. His head hurt from the tumbling thoughts and memories, but he ignored it, reaching for his coat. He didn’t pretend he could ever be the man Dean saw him as…but maybe he could use what he was to make their lives easier.

He paused long enough to scribble a note, leaving it on the bed, then he set out into the cold, planning on hitching a ride down the mountain and from there he could steal a car or something to get where he needed to go.

 

Dana picked at her plate, but she hadn’t eaten anything. John was quiet, still not entirely clear on everything that had happened the night before. Dean sighed into the silence. Something was nagging him…a feeling, fleeting, unfamiliar. Suddenly, Dana’s head came up and it snapped into place. “Sam?”

Dana’s eyes were wide as she nodded. Dean was up and out the door, plowing through the snowy parking lot to throw open the door to the room. “Sam?”

The room was empty, all but a small piece of hotel stationary on the bed. _I know how to end this. I have to…when she’s ready, tell Dana I love her…and I never wanted to hurt her. Dean…I will always love you…thank you for believing in me. All my heart, Sam._

“Damn it Sam.” Dean pocketed the note and ran out to the road, looking in both directions, but his brother might as well have vanished. He felt a hand in his and looked down at Dana.

“He left because of me.” Her voice was small. 

“Can you track him?”

She made a face, her eyes tracking across the road. “Kind of…he’s blocking me…but…” She was breathing heavily. “Its like he’s still in here too.”

“Shit.” Dean dragged his free hand over his face. “What does he think he’s doing going off on his own like that?”

“Saving me.” Dana said. The pain in her voice cut into Dean’s resolve and he slipped his arm around her, pulling her close.

“Well, if he gets himself killed in the process, I’m going to be pissed.”

Dana shivered and Dean turned them around. “Come on, let’s see if we can’t follow him.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam's on his own, determined to save Dana and Dean by taking on Asmodai by himself. Dana is learning to cope with the explosion of her gifts, and Sam's memories while tracking Sam, hoping to get to him before he did something they'd all regret.

“Dad. Stop.”

Dean slowed the car and pulled over. “What?”

She shook her head, her hair spilling over her shoulders. “Don’t know…give me a minute.” She rubbed at her temples, then nodded. “Screw this, he’s in Boston.”

“Are you sure?”

She looked at him with her patented _Hello, have you met me?_ look. “Of course.” She touched his hand and filled his head with the image of Sam looking up at the mansion Dean had visited.

“Dana.”

“Its just easier,” she said irritably. Yes, she knew she wasn’t supposed to, never without permission…but they wasted so much time arguing anymore. “Boston. I’ll call Papa.”

She dug out her cell phone and picked John’s number. “Boston, Papa,” was all she said and she hung up. “How long?”

“Maybe by noon.” 

Dean pulled the Impala back on the road and turned them around to catch the highway. If they were lucky the roads would stay clear as they headed north, and maybe they’d get to Sam before he did something stupid.

“He’s already done that.” Dana said.

“Would you stop?”

“Sorry.” She scowled and put her feet up on the dash, turning away to watch the world slip by out the window. Her powers were on full throttle and she hadn’t figured out yet how to stop them…how to tame them. Worse, they seemed to grow or expand or just flipping freak out every six or seven hours. She knew her father didn’t understand…she didn’t understand. It had been a week…and she felt like she’d aged 15 years.

Truth was, childhood was over. She’d seen to that herself. She closed her eyes as it came again, the memory of Sam on his knees at thirteen, choking on the cock in his throat and just trying to survive. Everything he’d tried to hide about himself lived in the forefront of her mind these days and came bubbling up at any provocation. It was damn debilitating. She couldn’t imagine living with it all these years.

She could feel it in her throat as the man came. She squeezed her arms around her legs, trying to contain the building fear and rage that always came with the memory. The windows rattled. The seat shook under her. “Stop the car. Stop.” She gasped and before her father even came to a stop, she had the door open and was jumping out, screaming and hoping that there was nothing to kill in the direction she threw the energy.

Two trees shook and one cracked in half and it felt like she was ripping the fabric of her own existence in half. Dana’s knees gave way and she crashed to the ground, vaguely aware that there was blood on her hands. Her father was there, beside her, holding a tissue to her bloody nose. “You gotta be careful Daddy…I don’t want to hurt you…can’t control it.”

“I’m careful Dana. I’m good. You okay?”

She gulped down air into lungs that were burning with exertion though she’d hardly moved and nodded. “Better…better now…”

“Ready to get back in the car?” 

She leaned on him pretty heavily and pointed to the back seat. “Need sleep.”

“Yeah, good idea. You sleep and by the time we catch up with Uncle Sammy you’ll be rested.”

“I’m sorry…I don’t mean to…I just…can’t help it.”

“It’s okay, Dana. You’ll learn.” Dean tucked a blanket around her and kissed her forehead. “Sleep.” He shut the door and got in behind the wheel. With a sigh, he set them on the road again, glancing into his rear view mirror every few minutes to make sure she was okay. West Virginia melted into Pennsylvania…which fell away to New York. Massachusetts felt like it was a long way off…and Dean felt the miles collecting in his bones.

 

Sam felt them coming closer. She was learning fast. It hadn’t taken her an hour to see through his last distraction and redirect them in his direction. He sat in his stolen car outside the oldest occult store in Boston. The glamour hiding the car was the only thing keeping him off the radar of those charged with finding him. Once he stepped out of the car they’d be able to sense him again, and they would try to stop him.

He wasn’t going to let them, of course. Maybe he had spent the last 12 years playing house in Kansas, but that didn’t mean he was soft. He’d spent the first 22 years among them. He tucked a gun into the back of his jeans and another into his coat pocket. They wouldn’t be much good against demons, but they’d put good sized holes into just about any body they chose to inhabit. 

He took a deep breath, and then opened the door of the car. He didn’t try to hide himself. He wanted the demon community to know he was coming for them. He should have come for them years before. He should have wiped the fucking town clean of them. All he needed now was a few supplies…and a particular knife he knew Jonas Barkelay kept in this store. 

Sam strode across the street, his head high, not even bothering to look around him. Tiny brass bells jingled as he opened the door. The clerk at the front counter looked up, then over her shoulder as an older man came out of the office. “You’ve got balls, boy.”

Sam smiled his wide, toothy grin. “Big ones, I’m told. You probably know why I’m here.”

“I can’t help you Sam.”

Sam sighed and pulled the gun out of his pocket. “I think you can.” He put a list on the counter in front of the girl. “Get me those things while your boss and I have a chat.”

“You’ll never get out of here with it.”

Sam shrugged. “Maybe not. But you’re going to give it to me anyway.”

“Why would I do that?”

“You **do** remember what happened to the Hank Hallins family, don’t you Mr. Barkelay? How fast can you get home to protect your wife and kids?”

Barkelay smiled hesitantly. “I heard you’d gone good, Sam…don’t have the stomach anymore for the killing. Heard you were a housewife in Minnesota or something.”

Sam squeezed off the shot before he could let himself think twice about it, hitting Barkelay in the right shoulder. “Oh, killing is off the list of acceptable practices these days, Jonas…but I have no problem finding new and interesting places to empty my clip. You remember how good I was at making it last, don’t you? Hank lingered for 6 hours before I finally let him go.”

“You’re bluffing.” 

Sam raised an eyebrow and lowered the barrel of the gun toward his foot. “Want to test that theory?”

“They’ll kill me if I give it to you.”

“Probably.” Sam stepped around the counter and pushed him back into the office. “Open the safe, Jonas.”

Barkelay shook his head. “No. Kill me and get it out yourself Sam. I’m not giving it to you.”

Sam sighed. He was telling the truth. He’d be dead by the end of the day. The wife too. And yet, it didn’t really matter. “Suit yourself.” Sam said, lifting the gun. He didn’t even look, just shot him between the eyes and went to find the safe.

 

Dana sat up suddenly, covering her mouth to stop her scream. For the first time since she’d left Sam’s mind, she really reached for him, stretching over miles to try to push past the wall that had been between them since he left. She could breach it, she knew she could. But she had violated him that way once. She wouldn’t do it again. _Sam…please…_

She felt the briefest brush of him. _No._ He was gone just as fast.

“Shit.”

“Dana?” 

“We gotta get to him Dad, he’s…he’s losing it.”

“What happened?” 

She pulled the blanket closer around her. “I think he killed someone.”

“Shit.”

“That’s what I said.”

 

Sam found the safe with little trouble. Getting it open might be problematic, but if all else failed, he’d blow it up. The clerk screamed as she came into the office with his bag of supplies. “Is that everything? Hey, hey…concentrate on me. Is that all of it?”

“Yes…yes, everything.”

“Good. I want you to go out to the counter and do your job. If you behave I won’t hurt you, okay?”

She nodded, obviously petrified. She was probably just a random college student trying to make tuition. He didn’t have time to worry about her. He turned his attention to the safe. The combination was the easy part. He felt his way inside the lock and felt the combination out. The spell that protected it was harder. 

It was taking too long and they’d be on him soon. “Come on.” He picked at the strands of the spell until it dawned on him. He crossed to where Barkelay lay dead on the floor. He pressed his hand against the shoulder wound, painting the skin of his palm with the man’s blood. He felt the protection spell retract as he raised the bloody hand and the safe fell open. The knife radiated a kind of energy that he could feel draw him in. The sheath that held it was faded black leather, tooled with sigils and symbols. The blade itself was marked with them as well, etched deep into the metal. It was said that the blade was forged from the melted down sword of St. George, the dragon slayer.

Of course, the dragons George fought were demons, the sword blessed with the power to kill them. In fact it was held by many scholars that the blade would kill anything evil. Sam knew for a fact that it could kill, he’d seen it work. Once upon a time the blade had been owned by a man who was playing both sides of the fence, holding it in defense of his family.

Hank Hallins had used that blade to kill the only person who had come to mean anything to Sam in the miserable existence of his life. Sam held up the blade and sighed. He’d held Michael’s body as he died, the wound from the blade festering and turning his skin black as it ate through him. Michael had gone to Hallins under possession, threatened his family.

No one knew where Hallins had gotten the blade. It was just suddenly being talked about. Hank Hallins had thought it would buy him his freedom. Instead, it bought him Sam and Andras, and together they had shown Hank the errors of his ways as he watched his family die. 

Swallowing the pain of that particular memory, Sam put the knife in the bag of supplies, ruffling through it briefly to be sure everything was actually there. “You can call the police if you like.” Sam told the girl as he came out of the office. “I doubt they’ll get here before the clean up crew. When they come for the body, tell them Sam Winchester says hello.” Sam dropped twenty bucks on the counter. “That should cover the supplies.”

He didn’t go out the front door, figuring that they wouldn’t have the back covered yet, and even if they did, he’d rather have them confined to the alley than have to watch the whole busy shopping district as he fought his way free. He could feel Dana trying again as he neared the end of the alley. _No._ He pushed at her, and she backed off, then came back for more. _Dana. Stop._ He pushed a little harder and felt her recoil.

They were getting close. Sam needed to get this done. He flagged down a cab and got into the car, directing the driver before sitting back. He wanted nothing more than to reach out to her, wrap himself in the feeling of _home_ and _safe_ that was so much what Dana was for him. 

 

“We aren’t going to catch up with him.” Dana said quietly as they waited for the gas to finish pumping.

Dean didn’t respond, just watched the numbers spin on the pump. “Papa might.” Her eyes were closed and Dean wondered what she saw. He’d wondered before, but now…He sighed and leaned against the car. They’d been tracking Sam across the country, and not getting any closer. The strain was starting to show. Dana was more ragged than he’d ever seen. Her eyes sunken and her control on her gifts was unraveling. It was frightening. He was pretty sure he shouldn’t be afraid of his own daughter.

“Is he okay?” Dean asked quietly as he lifted the nozzle and closed the gas tank.

“He’s angry. He’s…oh!” Her eyes went wide. “He’s okay-ish. Pushed me.”

“You can’t blame him for that, Dana. I told you it wasn’t going to be easy.”

“No. He isn’t angry with me…at least not like that. He wants me to leave him alone, let him… _do this_.”

“Do what?” Dean scowled as they both got back into the car.

“He won’t let me see. He’s afraid we’ll try to stop him.” She put her feet up on the dash and rested her head on her knees. “But he hasn’t tried to break the connection either…I think…I think he wants us to find him…just not until he’s done this…whatever this is.”

“It’s got something to do with this demon though?”

Dana nodded. “Asmodai. Sam’s dealt with him in the past.” She closed her eyes as the memory of the last time Sam encountered him filled her mind. Asmodai had wanted her then, when she was still an infant. It had waited a long time for her. Now, the wait was over, and it was hunting her.

But that was okay, because like Sam and Asmodai, Dana was done waiting too. It wanted her? Fine. She would come. But if Asmodai thought she wouldn’t hunt it down and send it back to hell, he obviously didn’t know what it was to be a Winchester.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam summons Asmodai and John, Dean and Dana race to try to save him.

He didn’t waste time. Sam had the cab drop him at the front door of the house. He didn’t knock, he brushed aside the domestic help that tried to stop him. At the top of the stairs, Sam paused. 

There were a lot of memories in this hallway. He turned toward the temple, the gun in his hand heavy. “Don’t.” Sam said, lifting the gun at the approaching men. “You don’t want to be a part of this.”

“You can’t be here.”

Sam turned to look at the man who spoke. “Trust me when I say I can.” He could feel the presence of demons gathering and _pushed_. “Don’t make me hurt you, because I will.”

“Sam.” 

Sam raised an eyebrow as a familiar face approached. “Well, I guess I should have known you’d be here.”

“Yes well, when you killed your father, someone had to fill his shoes.”

Sam smiled. “For the record, I didn’t kill him…and, he wasn’t my father.”

“None of that matters. You don’t belong here any more.”

“Not planning on staying, Brad. Just need to use the temple room for a few hours.”

“What is it you hope to accomplish, Sam? It isn’t as though you can use that knife. We all know you aren’t that pure of heart.”

Sam grinned. “Do we? Maybe not…but there are more ways to use a knife than the obvious.” He shifted the weight of his bag and took the remaining steps to the door of the temple. 

He knew he didn’t dare leave them, not with the reinforcements they could summon. Already he could feel the Harriers and others approaching. Sam reached for the door. Brad stepped closer. Sam raised the gun in his hand. “I really didn’t want to kill you today.” He pulled the trigger, hitting Brad between the eyes and quickly turning to the other two. He pulled the door open and closed it quickly, reaching for the built in wards and raising them quickly. He had no doubt others would try to get in, and Dana and Dean had to be close…all the more reason to get started quickly. 

He moved to the center of the room and emptied his supplies out onto the floor, pausing long enough to stick the knife into his belt. Maybe the stories told the truth, that only someone pure of heart could wield the blade, and maybe he wasn’t exactly qualified…but one way or another he was summoning Asmodai and ending his bid to get to Dana.

 

“He’s there.” Dana said, shifting uncomfortably in her seat. She could feel the memories of that room press in around her, felt how they were pulling at Sam’s attention. “Shit. Faster.”

“I can’t go any faster, Dana.” Dean said through clenched teeth. “The traffic is—“

“There-“ Dana pointed with one hand and Dean didn’t ask, just turned off the main road. “Left. Three streets up, and right.” Dana’s eyes were closed as she pulled her cell phone from her pocket. “Papa, stay put, we’re almost there. There are…too many to go in alone. Left Daddy.”

Dana slipped her feet back to the floor of the car, pushing them into her boots in preparation for getting out of the car. She could see the room clearly, even though she couldn’t get past the wall protecting Sam from her. He was determined, she could read that clearly. _Okay._

She felt him stop and reach for her. _Okay?_

Dana rubbed against him, pressing herself against the wall, then backing off. _I understand. Just let us back you up._

Sam’s response was surprised and cautious. _No tricks?_

Dana sighed. _Too tired for tricks_.

She could tell he was behind wards, and getting ready to raise even stronger ones. _How close?_

She looked up as Dean pulled the car to a stop beside Papa’s truck. _We’re outside_.

Sam seemed to stop what he was doing and turned his attention more fully on her. The wall didn’t come down, but it thinned considerably. _There’s a back way._ An image filled her head of how to find it and she sent her agreement. _Have John watch from outside, bring your father. I may need him._

Dana sighed and reached for her father’s hand as they joined her Papa, then she took John’s. It was still forbidden, but still easier. She sent the gist of the conversation she’d just had with Sam and the image of the hidden stairway. Before either of them could stop her, she was checking the load on the gun she’d taken from the glove box and started onto the grounds. 

“Hey.” Her father’s hand on her shoulder stopped her. “I’m still your father. Who says you get to take a gun?”

“You want me facing what we both know is in there without one?”

Dean looked like she’d hit him. “I don’t want you facing what’s in there at all.”

“Not an option. Sam is going to need us.” She started forward again, and Dean yanked her back. 

“I’ll go first, smart ass. You stay between me and Papa.”

Dana rolled her eyes, but complied. She didn’t want to admit she was scared. She wasn’t sure she could be there, in that room, and not relieve everything that had ever happened to Sam there. She wasn’t sure of much of anything since she’d charged into Sam’s mind and bullied him…since she’d realized just how much he’d given of himself to be the man she had always known.

 

Sam tracked their progress while he finished setting up. He knew Dana would be able to get in the wards, even after he finished, but timing would be critical. If they got in before it was time, before he had Asmodai summoned…before he was solid enough…Sam closed his eyes and centered himself. There was no time for that line of thought. He had to concentrate on what he was doing.

The frame work for summoning was already laid, there in the marble floor of the room. He finished grinding the herbal ingredients and walked the circle, murmuring the Latin words that would raise wards between him and the demon, creating the vessel into which the demon would appear. Energy rippled through the air as he walked. It felt different this time, maybe because he was more sure of himself, maybe because his gifts were manifesting in ways they never did before. He could feel the pulsing beat of the wards, taste the stale sulfur on the air. 

This wasn’t the same as the last time he’d knelt in this room and called a demon to him. Asmodai was a different class of demon, higher level even than those who had taken him from his family and tried to make Dana their home on this earth. This one wouldn’t come forth easily, except that it wanted what Sam had to offer.

Exhaling slowly, Sam knelt in front of the circle, lifting the black bladed ceremonial knife that he took from the altar. The Latin flowed through him and out of his mouth, resting softly on the air as he called out into the ether, intoning it’s name, even as he brought the blade down over his left palm. Bleeding into the bowl, Sam felt the wind kick up. Candles sputtered, but didn’t go out, and Sam switched the knife to his left hand, continuing his chanting as he drew a second bloody line, holding his hand over the bowl.

Dark smoke filled the air, coalescing into the circle and becoming a towering pillar of black that slowly took form, until it resembled a man, taller than Sam, with eyes blood red and horns coming out of black skin.

“I must admit, I’m surprised at you Samuel.” Asmodai paced within the confining circle, testing its strength. “Do you think you can keep me contained? Do you think you can kill me?”

Sam wound white bandages over his bleeding palms and got to his feet slowly. “I aim to deal, Asmodai.”

“You won’t give me what I want. What deal could you hope to strike?”

Sam smiled. “You agree to leave us alone, and I agree not to kill you.”

Asmodai smiled back at him. “You can not wield that blade, Samuel. Only the pure of heart can use that against me.”

“You willing to bet your existence on an unproven legend?” Sam pulled the knife from its sheath, blinking a little as light reflected off the metal. 

“It won’t be long before those doors are opened and my children come in here to deal with you.”

“Then we better deal, because before they can get to me, I’ll have ended it. One way or another, Dana will be free.” 

Asmodai chuckled as he paced. “You are no better at bluffing than you were 12 years ago Samuel. Do you remember what I told you then?”

Sam adjusted his grip on the blade. “I remember you couldn’t hold me then, and you won’t be able to now.”

 

Dana tugged on her father’s sleeve and pressed an image into his head. “Here.” 

He nodded and turned to the stairs. “Dad, you watch our backs.”

“I don’t like this Dean.”

“No, neither do I. But we need someone at our backs in case the whole thing goes south.”

“Dana shouldn’t go in there.”

They stopped as one, and Dean put a hand on her shoulder. “No, I agree…but I can’t get in without her.”

“It’s going to be fine, Papa.” Dana said with far more confidence than she felt. “Sam needs us.”

Moving up the stairs, Dana could already feel the wards. They were strong. Designed to keep outsiders out and the participants contained. She took her father’s hand as they neared the door. “Stay close. It’s going to be work to get inside.” She felt her way around the door, looking for traps. She didn’t find any, but was still cautious opening it. The room inside was dark, black curtains separating them from the main temple. 

_Here._ She felt Sam respond, a brief acknowledgement, though his attention was on the other presence in the room. “It’s already here,” she whispered to her father. _When?_

Sam thinned the wall between them a little more and she could feel the knife in his hands as well as the presence of Asmodai. It laughed as it felt her too. “Maybe there is still a deal to be had, Samuel.” Asmodai said. “The girl is powerful.”

Her father was seething beside her. “Easy, Daddy. It’s trying to goad us.”

_Come through._ Sam sent to her, and she squeezed Dean’s hand.

The wards were nearly physical they were so strong, and the tingling along her arm as she made contact was unpleasant. These were different from the ones she was familiar with. She felt her way along them until she found the opening Sam had left her. Dana pulled her father close and pushed at the opening, feeling it slowly give way until she was able to pull herself and Dean through, then paused to close it behind them. 

 

Sam was aware of Dana and Dean entering the room, of the energy stretching, then sliding closed, but he didn’t spare them much thought, his concentration on Asmodai, and keeping Asmodai’s attention on him.

“I always knew you’d come through for me one day, Samuel. You brought her to me…and look, she brought along your little playmate.” 

Sam brushed his mind across Dean’s, grabbing his attention and drawing them both closer. _Can’t keep him contained for long_ Sam sent to both Dana and Dean. _Need to make a choice_.

Dean’s eyes narrowed as he put one hand protectively over Dana’s shoulder and watched the trapped demon. _What choice_?

Dana’s eyes were wide and Sam could taste the fear radiating off of her, _Dana?_

She looked up at him and he saw the echo in her eyes. _You have to shut it away. Like I did._ He reached out, dropping the block between them and reeling a little as they flooded together as one again. _Shit…Dean, take the knife._

Dean’s hand closed around the blade and Sam tried to focus on making Asmodai believe he still had the blade while he was shoving his memories behind a barrier, but Dana’s mind kept pulling them back out, and the strain was starting to be too much. _Dana, stop fighting me._

“Trouble with your little prodigy, Samuel?”

Sam staggered a little under the pressure of the memories Dana was replaying. It didn’t help that he could feel Asmodai pushing his way out of the containment, and that a dozen Harriers were just waiting outside the doors for the wards to fall.

“I can make it all go away Dana.” Asmodai said. “You would be free from your Uncle and his unclean memories.”

“Don’t listen to him.” Dean said, his fingers tightening on her shoulder.

_Dana, focus on me._

Her green eyes met Sam’s and she nodded tightly. _We’re going to take a step back now._ He moved them a few feet away and stopped them. _Let me block them away._

Sam flicked his gaze to Asmodai, sparing a bit of his attention to strengthening the circle around him. Her eyes closed as he pushed almost forcibly against the flood of memory. “Dana, let me out and I’ll make it all go away. You won’t have to remember any of it.”

Dana took an involuntary step forward as Asmodai pulled at her, and Sam cursed, pulling her back. _Focus. I can’t do it all for you._

There was a loud crashing sound and the temple doors gave way, two mammoth Harriers filling the space and pawing at the wards. It was going to be too much too fast. Sam looked up at Dean. _I can’t kill him. That knife can… but you have to do it. I’ll keep him distracted._

Dana’s control was unraveling as the Harriers fought to get in and Sam tried to hold Asmodai long enough that he was manifesting physically. _Trust me_. Dana stiffened and Dean turned startled eyes as Sam pressed himself into Dana, pressing against controls that had her crumpling into his arms. As he lowered her to the ground, the wards came down, and Harriers poured into the room even as Asmodai stepped out of the circle, his hand instantly reaching for Sam.

Dean’s gun rang out, taking out the first of the Harriers, as Asmodai lifted Sam off his feet. Dean dropped the next Harrier, even as the curtains were ripped open and his father was shooting.

_Dean._ Sam yanked his attention away from the Harriers. _The knife_

Dean looked down at it, then up at Sam, whose face was turning purple. _Now._

Sam was bleeding, though Dean couldn’t see from where. One of the Harriers was behind him, claws closing over Sam’s shoulders. He looked over the hulking black mass of the demon, but couldn’t tell if there was any place more vulnerable than any other and ultimately just aimed at where a heart would be if it were human, the knife slid into it like it wasn’t there, until it caught and stuck. Asmodai roared, and the room reverberated with his rage. 

Dean was knocked backward as Asmodai dropped Sam and yanked the knife out of his side. He turned toward Dean, the blade hanging in his hand and dripping black. “You think you’re pure enough to kill me, boy? Brother-fucker?” Dean picked himself up shakily.

“You **are** bleeding, so I guess that means yes.” Dean said, leveling his gun at the Harrier still holding Sam. “Put him down and back the hell away.”

Asmodai screamed and threw the blade at Sam, but it only clattered to the ground at his feet. It twisted itself backward, and Dean could see the wound eating through him. “Sam?” The Harrier grinned at Dean and dug his claw into Sam’s ruined shoulder.

_Dean._

There were more coming, Dean could hear them. “Dad, get Dana.” He didn’t look back, just moved toward Sam, the gun held steady between them. “I said put him down.”

“Doesn’t it just kill you to know I had his hot little ass before you?” the Harrier asked, his voice remarkably similar to his father’s. “To know that for years I fucked him while you still believed he was dead? Maybe I’ll have another go at him…maybe I’ll save some for you.”

Dean didn’t blink as he pulled the trigger and hit the Harrier in the eye. It stumbled forward, dropping Sam before Dean emptied his gun into him. “Sam? Come on buddy, we gotta go.”

“Burn.” Sam murmured, as Dean helped him up. “Burn down.”

“Yeah, okay.” Dean staggered over to the altar, dumping candles and setting the altar cloth ablaze before tipping the table over and spilling flames over a fallen Harrier. Asmodai came at them, spewing black ink from his wound and Dean met him with a candle, smiling as he screamed and fell backward. Once there was enough fire to stop Sam’s chanting “Burn,” Dean pulled his brother toward the exit where Dana and their father had disappeared. “Come on, Sam….help me out.” Sam tried to get his feet under him, but wasn’t sure he was helpful.

He was vaguely aware that he was still losing blood, and that Dana was awake and wrapping herself around him…and then there was movement and car doors and the cold dark, and Dana’s voice telling him to hold on to her.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam slowly recovers from his ordeal, and the family works to put their lives back together...with the added bonus of hospital!porn.

Dean drove through the clogged streets of Boston, trying to watch the traffic and Sam at the same time. Dana knelt on the floor of the back seat, trying to staunch the flow of blood and sniffling. “Dana?”

“I can’t stop it Daddy. I can’t make it better.” 

He spared a glance over his shoulder, cursing as her tiny hands moved against Sam’s ruined shoulder, the skin obscured by blood. “If I healed him before, why can’t I now?”

“I don’t know honey. Just hold on, we’re almost there.”

He pulled into the emergency room driveway and Dana looked up. “He’s not going to like this.”

“I don’t care.” Dean said, throwing himself out of the car and wrenching open the door. He grabbed Sam’s hand and bent himself to lift Sam up and out of the car, over his shoulder. He staggered toward the door, relieved when someone inside saw him coming and came running with a gurney. Together Dean and the orderly got Sam onto the gurney, arranging his long limbs as nurses and doctors came pouring out to meet them.

“What happened?”

“He was attacked. I don’t know…he’s bleeding pretty bad.”

A man with salt and pepper hair nodded, flashing a light in Sam’s eyes. A nurse was already cutting Sam’s shirt off and the whole mob was moving into the building. Dean started as Dana ducked under his arm. “His name?” The salt and pepper doctor had stopped while the rest of them pushed Sam toward a room.

“Uh…Sam. Winchester. Sam Winchester. He’s…I’m…”

“He’s my uncle.” Dana said. “This is my Daddy.”

The doctor nodded, his eyes skating over Dean, and on to Dana. “Are you hurt?”

Dana looked down at her hands and shook her head. “No…I was…I tried to help him.”

“Okay. You should get cleaned up.” He pointed at the bathroom sign. “I’m going to go in and see what’s going on with your uncle.”

Dean blew out a breath as the man walked away. “He’s right, Dana. Go wash up.” Dean turned as his father stalked into the room. 

“Is he okay?”

Dean shivered. “Don’t know.” He collapsed into a chair, his hands pawing over his face in an attempt to bring some feeling back into his numbed out body. 

The whole thing was a blur and his right hand still tingled from the power of the knife. He could feel the way it slipped into the demon and caught…the way Asmodai looked at him as the blade burned into him. _“You think you’re pure enough to kill me, boy? Brother-fucker?”_

“Is it over?” Dana asked suddenly, standing in front of him.

Dean inhaled and nodded. “I think so.”

She looked torn between collapsing from exhaustion and crying in relief. She wrapped her arms around her stomach and huddled into herself for a minute. “He’s awake,” she said suddenly, her eyes closing. “He’s…not good…but he’s awake.”

“Mr. Winchester?”

Dean stood to face the salt and pepper doctor. He smiled tightly, and Dean felt his heart unclench a little. “Your brother has lost a lot of blood, and there’s some internal bleeding we’re going to need to repair. But, he should be fine. We’re moving him up to surgery now.”

“Thank you, doctor.”

“There’s a family lounge upstairs, on the seventh floor. If you’d like to go up there, we’ll come get you when he’s out of surgery.”

 

Dana was asleep with her head in John’s lap when the doctor came to tell them Sam was out of surgery. Dean left her with his father and followed the surgeon down the hall to the room where Sam lay amid machines, looking young and frail. “It will probably be a while before he wakes. The internal damage was…extensive.”

Dean nodded. “Can I stay with him?”

“Yes. For now.” 

Dean waited until he left the room before moving to Sam’s side. He slid his fingers over Sam’s hand. “You always have been a little too dense for your own good, little brother.” He watched Sam’s chest rise and fall. He was tired. So very tired. “I swear, if you die on me, I’ll find you and kick the shit out of you. Hear me?”

“Bossy.” Sam breathed, his eyes fluttering, but not opening. 

Dean’s breath caught in his throat. “You’re not supposed to be awake.”

“See? Bossy.”

“Yeah. I am.” Dean leaned in and kissed his forehead. “I’m here, Sam. Sleep. Get well.”

“Don’t leave me.”

“Not going anywhere.”

 

“Did we end it?” Sam asked the next time he was awake, his eyes still closed, his fingers brushing against Dean’s.

“Yeah, it’s over.”

“Dana okay?”

“Depends on your definition of okay.” Dean said, pressing a kiss to his hand. “Missouri’s on her way to get her. She’ll get there.”

“I made a mess this time.”

Dean chuckled. “When don’t you?”

Sam’s eyes opened and pinned Dean. “You shouldn’t have come after me.”

“Yeah, right. You’ve been in here.” Dean tapped his head. “You should really know me better than that.”

Sam made a face and struggled to breath for a minute. Just as Dean was about to wave for the nurse, it passed and he lay back against the pillow. “She wants to see you before she goes. I told her it was up to you.”

Sam nodded. “Not right now though…okay?”

Dean smiled. “When you’re ready.”

 

Dana stood in the doorway, feeling very young and very scared. They’d moved Sam into a private room, and most of the monitors were gone. Sam looked pale and drawn and fragile on the hospital bed. “I hear you could be busting out of here by Wednesday,” she said with a confidence she didn’t feel.

He smiled. “Your father seems to think I should stay longer.”

Dana shrugged and moved into the room. “What does he know?”

“Apparently he knows that you should be back in school now that the danger is passed.”

Dana made a face. “A lot to catch up on.” They’d been gone since before Thanksgiving…since before her birthday. Christmas recess was over. School started again in two days.

“I’ll be home before you know it to help you.”

She brightened and let her mind reach out. She’d avoided it…avoided the connection while he healed. Her head was still a mess. Missouri had helped a little when she’d gotten there the night before….but there was a lot of work to do. He responded softly.

“We’re going to need to go slow.” Sam said when he’d pulled back.

“I hurt you.” She moved a little closer to the bed. “I pushed and I…hurt you and I was wrong.”

Sam nodded, then reached out a hand for her. She came hesitantly, slipping her hand into his. _I understand why._

She shook her head. _No excuses, Sam. It was wrong._

He squeezed her hand. _We’ll work on this when I come home_

She pulled the hand up and kissed it, then rubbed it against her face. “Hey Sam.” Missouri’s voice cut through and Dana let go of Sam immediately, her face flushing red. “Dana, you ready?”

Dana nodded. “Just saying goodbye to Sam.”

“You’ll see him soon.”

“I know.”

“Go on to your Papa, he’s waiting in the lobby.”

_Bye, Dana…I love you._

She stopped at the door way, glancing up at Missouri, then back at Sam. _Love you too._

When she was gone Missouri shook her head. “She did a number on you.”

Sam chuckled. “Yeah. I’m…coping.”

“So I see. She’s not.”

“I know. I tried…but…all I did was make it worse.”

Missouri smiled sadly. “She’ll never be that innocent girl again.”

“No, but she’ll be a Winchester.” Sam shifted on the bed, tugging on the IV tubing to give him more room to move. 

“I’m going to let you rest. Come see me when you’re home. Maybe I can help with that coping.” She kissed his forehead and left him. Sam sighed and rubbed at his head. It hurt a lot these days. He supposed it was a left over from the use of powers that were…strangely growing since his conflict with Dana.

He looked up as Dean came to the door. “They’re gone. Dad’s headed back too. The shop needs him.”

Sam held out his hand as Dean shut the door and he came, sliding onto the side of the bed. “Wish we were somewhere else.” Sam whispered, brushing against Dean with the thought of what he really wanted.

Dean grinned and looked up, then drew the curtains around Sam’s bed. “I don’t think you’re ready for all that just yet…Mr. Winchester…but…if you promise to be a good boy, I think we could maybe….scratch that itch a little.”

“Dean…we’re in a hospital. Anyone could come in.”

“Other than that one night, we’ve had to be good for almost two months, Sam.”

Dean reached for Sam’s groin, smiling when he found Sam was already well ahead of Dean, despite his protests. “You lay back…and let me make it feel better.”

Dean peeled the blankets down, then slowly lifted the white hospital gown up just enough to reveal Sam’s hardening cock. “Hmmm…we seem to have some swelling here, Mr. Winchester. I think it needs some attention.”

Sam twitched, his cock bobbing toward Dean. “Come on…don’t play.”

Dean grinned at him. “No? How about this?” He closed his fist over it and pumped it once, twice…then let go. “Hmm…seems to have aggravated the condition.”

“Dean.” Sam hissed between his teeth. Dean raised an eyebrow and shifted backward on the bed. The first touch of his tongue nearly brought Sam up off the bed and Dean smiled against his thigh.

“Easy there Tiger…don’t want to pull anything…”

Dean teased the head of Sam’s cock, tongue sawing through the slit while his hands pressed his hips down to the bed. “Shh…don’t want anyone coming in here.” He said as Sam moaned in frustration. “I got you…”

Sam pressed himself against the pillow, hands fisting in the sheets as Dean licked and sucked his way down him, pausing to lick over his balls. “Dean…fuck…”

“Not yet…hold on…” 

Sam reached out to Dean…to that connection he’d offered up and spilled _needwantplease_ into his head, even as Dean swallowed down his length and sucked up…finally settling into a rhythm that had Sam bucking up quickly, his face a grimace as he tried not to yell out when he came.

Dean rode out the orgasm, not moving his mouth off of Sam until his cock started to soften. When he finally did look up, his grin was proud and silly. “Better?”

Sam grabbed a fistful of Dean’s shirt and dragged him up to kiss him. “Get me out of here, and I’ll show you better.”

Dean’s grin faded. “You promised me you’d stay this time until the doctor said you were ready.”

Sam kissed him again…nipping playfully to hide the way his stomach twisted over that promise. “I was under the influence of drugs at the time.”

“Sam.” Dean sat back, pulling free of his grip. “Please.”

Sam sighed. “I’m okay…better than okay.”

_You left me._

Dean closed his eyes, knowing that Sam had heard that. “I don’t…If I lost you…Sam. I can’t breathe when you do that, when you think you aren’t good enough…when you try to protect me from loving you…cause this is the only thing I’ve got. You and Dana.”

The fear and anguish rolled off of Dean and Sam dropped his eyes. “I don’t deserve you.” His hand cupped Dean’s cheek. “I never will.”

“Stuck with me anyway.” Dean said, laying down beside Sam so that his head was on Sam’s shoulder. “And we aren’t leaving…until they release you…and then…we’re driving home. Slowly.”

“If I stay…until they release me…I’m going to make sure that drive home is very slow.” Sam said into his hair. "I’m going to make you stop so I can fuck you at every state border…once on each side.”

Dean looked up at him, kissing him lightly. “Deal.”


End file.
